Insanity and Manfreds
by dancingwithinbrokendreams
Summary: I was chasing a squirrel that stole my house keys and before i knew it...IM IN NARUTO WORLD! travel with me and see how i turn the Akatsuki and Konoha upside down....0.o PLS REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello ppl! My second fanfic this is a humor rolls eyes I DEDICATE THIS STORY TO MY FRIEND GAARA"S DESERT BLOSSOM well pls pls pls review or I won't continue... oh right...FLAMERS WELCOME **

**Chapter: Oreos, time out and RENT!**

I landed with a thud on the hard ground...I looked around me at the trees and wondered where the hell I was. The last thing I remembered was chasing after some dumb squirrel that stole my house keys. I stood up and brushed the dirt off of my jeans and picked the leaves out of my waist length strawberry blonde hair. Sighing with annoyance as yet another day was ruined, I began walking in some random direction when I heard laughter not to far away. Laughter meant that there was a camp... a camp meant food...food meant oreos...oreos meant evil bear eating Manfreds. I rushed toward the voices and burst into the Manfreds' camp.

"I am not a bear!" I declared happily. Everything was black and silent.

"Oh my God I'm blind I'm blind!" I shouted running in circles.

"Open your eyes idiot." I heard someone mutter. I opened my eyes and sighed relieved. I looked at the small group of people in front of me. One had black hair and red swirling eyes. He wore his hair in a loose ponytail and there were two cuts below his eyes. He wore a black cape with red clouds. The other looked like a man-shark...probably from the lost city of Atlantis. I made a mental note to ask him how the weather was down there. Another has Long blond hair in a high ponytail on his head and bangs covering an eye, I assumed he used tea tree shampoo do to it's healthy gleam.

I walked more into the camp and began rummaging through a pack. I was grabbed from behind and lifted in the air.

"OMG I've learned to fly." I shouted in awe before I was slammed into a tree. "Ow. Flying hurts." I looked at sharkie who was pinning me down. My blue eyes widened and I began to scream.

"RAPE!" the man looked frightened somewhat at my sudden outburst but quickly gathered himself together.

"Who the hell are you?" he growled.

"I can't tell you. You're a stranger and my friends said not to talk to a stranger." I said. He gave me a weird look.

I slipped from his loosened grasp and scurried back over to the pack.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING SANE ARE YOU DOING!" I turned to sharkie.

"I'm looking..." I said stressing out each word and glaring. "For an oreo."

I continued searching each pack. As I approached the red eyed guy's pack, he growled and snatched it away.

"You." I pointed. "YOU HAVE THE OREOS!" I tackled the man to the ground trying to reach the pack.

"Itatchi!" I was once again grabbed from behind and flung to the ground.

"HE HAS THEM LET ME GO I NEED MY OREOS...hey have any of you guys seen a squirrel with a key in his mouth?"I asked.

I turned toward sharkie and poked him hard in the eye.

He howled and jumped back holding his eyeball.

"What's your name?" I asked the blond guy.

"Diedara un." I looked pointedly at the red eyed guy who scowled.

"Don't make me poke you...besides...I'll give you an oreo."

"Itatchi."

"Kisame." I glared at the shark guy.

"What you were gonna ask me..."

"Wait your turn next time. Go to time out."

"What the hell! You can't..."

"I SAID GO TO THE DAMN TIME OUT OR ELSE I"LL POKE YOU NON STOP FOR ALL OF ETERNITY." he scurried over to a nearby stump and sat, shoulders slumped in shame.

"That's better...so do you guys have any oreos?" I asked happily turning to Diedara.

"Not that I know of but I'm sure itatchi does...he never shares anything with me." Diedara said fake crying.

"What? How cruel." I said patting him on his head and giving him an oreo.

"WTF! U JUST SAID YOU HAD NO OREOS!" Itatchi shouted angrily.

"I don't."

"But you just..."

"Diedara has the oreo." I pointed to Diedara who was gobbling it down like there was no tomorrow.

Itatchi's eye was twitching.

I jumped up suddenly startling everyone. I began singing at the top of my lungs songs from rent. "KEEP IT DOWN WE ARE TRYING TO HIDE SO WE CAN GET BACK TO BASE." at this point I was still singing and staring at Itatchi who seemed to be yelling something. I made a note to ask him what as soon as I took off my headphones.

The next thing I knew everyone was packing up and gone. I stared in silence, my ipod still blaring in my ears.

"KISAME! GET BACK TO TIME OUT NOW! I SWEAR I"M GOING TO CALL YOUR MOM IN ATLANTIS AND..." the next thing I knew everything was dark.

meanwhile with Itatchi:

"Hey Itatchi I feel kinda bad for leaving her there yeah." Diedara said looking behind him.

"If she's smart she'd run before the ANBU came." Itatchi muttered.

"Ha ha no time out for me...hey listen..." they all stopped and listened.

"-YOUR MOM IN ATLANTIS AND..." Kisame shot a quizzical look towards Itatchi.

"What the hell was she screaming about?"

"How the hell should I know!" with that he continued on his way towards the base.

**so how'd you like it? It'll be funnier next time. Well click the little review button before I POKE YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY... hey it worked on Kisame. **


	2. Chapter 2

**W00t thanx to all my reviewers out there This story is dedicated to Gaara's desert blossom you deserve an oreo all of ya's xp well ch.2 is here woohoo well enjoy...FLAMERS WELCOME oh and review or else you'll have to deal with the almighty bearfish shifty eyes and poking...lotsa poking** k well enjoy.

**Disclaimer: hmm...hmm...well what do u think? XD **

**Chapter 2: Konoha... and the fruit people**

I sat up groggily and stared at the room I was in. It was small and white...I heard a cough and whipped around. I stared at a person with black robes. His face looked like a fox. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I flung my pillow at the evil minion of fruit people. Because obviously he was one of them.

"YOU! STAY BACK! I WILL NOT SUBMIT TO THE FRUIT PEOPLE I WILL NOT! MR. MICHELLE SHALL NOT HAVE ME!" I jumped up and down on the bed surprised at how bouncy it was.

"Umm...excuse me?" the man took off his mask and stared at me with wide eyes.

"OMG! YOU HAVE ANOTHER FACE!" he sweat dropped and shook his head.

"No, no. That was a mask. I'm ANBU and was assigned to watch over you until you awoke. I need to go get someone now so be a good little girl and don't move okay?" he disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"HE EXPLODED!" I shouted, eyes wide and fearful. I checked my self over and sighed, relieved none of his body parts were sticking to me. I looked around the room. He had said be a good little girl. I sat in a thinking position wondering what in the hell a good little girl would do.

I got bored of thinking and stared at a shiny object on a tray. I picked it up ans squealed in delight. Not only was it shiny...it was POINTY! A nurse walked in the room and smiled at me. I held up my discovery and smiled back.

**Nurse's POV:**

I walked into the room checking on the patient. I heard a scream not to long ago, something about fruit. I had come bearing some fruit hoping to settle the patient down. I was not expecting to see a young girl sitting on the edge of the bed holding up a scalpel threateningly and smiling like a maniac.

**End POV**

I watched the nurse scream and drop a tray of fruit. She fled from the room yelling for someone to help her. I shrugged it off and walked to the fruit with wide eyes. I was right...I was in enemy territory. Fruit people have been my enemy ever since they came into my room and destroyed it. I had gotten into so much trouble with my parents. I told them about the fruit people but they put me in therapy...those hos. I glares at the fruit and picked up a melon and stabbed it continuously just as a woman appeared in a poof behind me. I screamed and swung around, dropping my shiny object and brandishing the now OFFICIALLY dead fruit at the woman.

"STAY BACK FRUIT PERSON! I HAVE A HOSTAGE!" the fruit was grabbed out of my hands. I screamed and dove beneath the bed, curling back against the wall in the far corner.

I pulled out a tape recorder from thin air.

"August...no...or is it July? Hmm...anyway...I am now trapped beneath a bed, hostage less and in a paper dress. I don't know why I was put in the paper dress all I know is that it's really ugly and does NOT match my season." I stopped as I watched someone crouch down and look at me.

"Hey, it's alright come on out of there. We just have a few questions." the guy had half his face covered in a mask and one eye showing. He had weird silver hair and an orange book in one hand.

"I will not answer your questions FRUIT PEOPLE!" the man disappeared from sight.

**EVERYBODY"S POV: **

Kakashi got up from his crouching position and glanced at one of the ANBU officers.

"What does she mean by fruit people?" he asked the guy that was watching her earlier.

The man shrugged, face blank.

"So, how do we get her out from under there?" Tsunade asked standing beside Kakashi.

"Well...I have an idea." Jiraiya said happily crouching down.

**NORMAL POV:**

I watched a man with white hair crouch down. He had two red stripes running from each eye down each cheek.

"Hey little girl." He pulled out an orange book from his pocket..

I heard a startled gasp from above and a happy "IS THAT..."

I watched the man look up and nod. "Yes. The NEW Icha Icha paradise book yet to be published." I heard a happy little squeal.

**EVERYBODY"S POV:**

Kakashi's eyes widened as he saw the book. "Is that..."

Jiraiya nodded. "Yep...the new Icha Icha paradise book." he said happily.

Kakashi squealed like a fangirl and jumped around all giddy.

Tsunade punched both Kakashi and Jiraiya on the back of the head. She then crouched down herself.

"Hey little girl won't you come out? We aren't...erm...Fruit people was it?"

**Normal POV:**

I stared at the blonde headed woman in disbelief. Who were they trying to kid.

"PROVE IT!" I shouted.

She looked taken back then smiled. "Alright how?"

"Hm...first I want you to give me a box of pocky, then a large panda bear and then eat some fruit."

She nodded and whispered something to a person. I heard another poof and a few minutes later I was cuddling a HUGE panda and a had ten pieces of pocky sticking out of my mouth while watching the group of people eating a bunch of fruit.

"Will you come out now?" I nodded and crawled out, covered in dust and still cuddling the panda.

"Now. My ANBU found you in an Akatsuki camp. Care to explain."

"Ewd eiru I o; iy g oifh iowoiyfbk. Iyb igq jgsaiu eroh j iobnwfgf khoi n." I explained happily, mouth still filled with pocky. Everyone sweat dropped. This was going to be a long night.

**Chapter two completed w00t looks around fearfully those fruit people are very evil...so...PLS PLS PLS REVIEW OR ELSE THE FRUIT PEOPLE WILL DESTROY YOUR ROOM AND PUT YOU IN THERAPY. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 is here w00t bow bow HEY WHO THREW THE...fruit...FRUIT PPL! starts to spaz out Anyway...the whole story is dedicated to Gaara's desert blossom Thank you all u wonderful, panda loving, pocky eating, non-fruit people reviewers you are all wonderful and I am very grateful gives oreos I'm updating quickly no?**

**Disclaimer: I was once a treehouse...o.o**

**Chapter 3: A painful morning lesson, and team seven**

After much pocky and a lot of explaining I was really tired. So I decided to bounce around the room a bit. Well, a nurse was passing by, she just happened to be the nurse from earlier that day. She saw me and quickly ran off crying about insane people needing to be in a ward. I stared at the door way and shook my head sadly. I agreed with her, people like her should be in an insane ward. After checking under the bed, in the closet, in the toilet, bathtub, shelves and cabinets I was satisfied enough to sleep without the worry of fruit people. After jumping on the patient next to me and causing him to groan in pain, I snuggled up to my giant panda and happily fell asleep.

"IT IS TIME TO GET UP AND START YOUR YOUTHFUL DAY!"

I woke up slightly to see a man in green spandex, and a bowl cut, REALLY shiny hair. I blinked a few times before once again snuggling under the covers. The next thing I knew I was lifted in the air.

"DO NOT WORRY! I SHALL HELP YOU RESTORE THE YOUTHFULNESS YOU HAVE ONCE KNOWN YOU POOR LITTLE GIRL."

I glared and began to count like my anger management teacher had told me.

'1...'

"YOU ARE SO OUT OF YOUTHFULNESS I MAY HAVE TO JOIN YOU!'

"2...'

"HERE LET ME HELP YOU DRESS"

'SCREW counting.'

I positioned my knee and jammed it in a man's special place. (Yes I think I described that quite well )

He howled and fell on his knees, dropping to the ground with tears in his eyes.

I smiled and crawled back into bed and snuggled with my giant panda. I was NOT a morning person.

The silvered haired man from yesterday walked in a few minutes later.

**Kakashi's POV:**

I decided to take a nice visit to the insane girl. Yeah, okay, Tsunade said I was to show her around or else she'd burn all my Ich Icha novels. Oh the horror. I snuggled my book closer to me and looked around suspiciously. Oh no she would not get MY beloved. I petted the book protectively. She had allowed the girl...Kisa I believe her name was. To stay in Konoha after the insane tale she had told us. I believed everything except the squirrel bit. I mean, why would a squirrel want a house key? I pushed open the door and saw her lying peacefully upon the bed with the panda we had bought her. HOW a panda proved we weren't fruit people I had no idea...hmm...I'd have to ask her about that.

I raised an eyebrow as I saw Gai lying on the floor, holding his swelling manlihood.

I walked over and poked him. He had tears in his eyes and was muttering something about damn, evil, demonic children with no youth. I glanced at Kisa who was sleeping soundly and shrugged.

"At least it looks bigger now Gai." I said happily.

He glared at me before crawling out of the room. I chuckled and shook Kisa's shoulder. How can anything this angelic looking be a demon?

**End Kakashi's point of view: **

Whoever was shaking my shoulder was about to learn another lesson in not waking me up in the morning. I gripped my panda and swung my hand around jabbing the person in the throat. I opened my eyes and glared at the wheezing silver haired man clutching his throat. I remembered him from last night, Kusho? Kanashi? Oh well I'll just call him Kaka.

"DAMN IT!" he shouted glaring at me. I glared back and gritted my teeth.

"I AM NOT A DAMN MORNING PERSON SO UNLESS YOU WANT TO HAVE NO CHILDREN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE I SUGGEST YOU TELL ME WHY YOU ARE HERE OR GET ME AN OREO WHICHEVER ONE IS FINE." I took in a deep breath and let it out.

"Tsunade said bring you around with me. I have to meet up with my team but you can come along." he said, voice raspy.

"Oh...okay." I said happily bouncing out of bed. "Kaka? Where's my clothes?" I asked looking around.

"K-k-kaka?" he asked.

"Yeah forgot your name so...you are now dubbed Kaka now get on one knee." I said happily.

"My name is Kakashi." he said.

"I SAID GET ON ONE KNEE!" he quickly got on one knee. I picked up a random pole I found and dubbed him Sir Kaka.

I heard a faint gasping noise and stared at the other patient. I looked at the pole and back at him...why was he pointing to the pole? Kaka quickly grabbed the pole and inserted a needle in the man's arm.

"THAT WAS HIS IV LOOK NEXT TIME!" I stared at Kaka whose face was angry looking. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I looked down.

"Oh...um...there there...don't cry? I'm sorry." I smirked behind my hair. Ha I knew he'd fall for that .

"OKAY!" I grabbed my clothes from a drawer and shut the door as he shouted something about how I said I didn't know where my clothes were.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"LOOK I SAID WHEN YOU"RE OLDER!"

"...please?"

It was an hour later and we were making our way to the training grounds. I sadly had to leave my panda back at Kakashi's apartment. I was now living with him until they could set me up with another place. I had asked him if I could read his book and he had said no. So now here we are, arguing back and forth.

We arrived and I saw a boy with ebony hair shaped like the backside of a chicken and black eyes. He was calmly leaning against a tree as if he was the coolest person in the world. Another was a girl who was fawning over him. She had large emerald eyes and pink hair. The one that caught my attention (who wouldn't be drawn to an orange jumpsuit) was a boy with spiky blond hair blue eyes. I would call them sky blue. My eyes were...what did my teacher say...oh right...annoyingly huge transparent crystals whatever the hell that meant. Anyways he was jumping around and shouting. When we arrived and both the blond kid (with whiskers of course ) and the pink haired girl shouted at kaka that he was late.

"Sorry I had to pick up..."

"Don't lie you overly grown horny toad! You were probably reading that disgusting book of yours." I looked over at the boy against the tree who was staring at me.

"Who's that?" he asked before anyone said anything else.

"Oh hi! I'm Kisa. Kaka is showing me around for a bit." Kakashi flinched at the nickname and the others gave him a curious glance.

"ARE YOU FRUIT PEOPLE!" I shouted suddenly afraid of them.

"Not this again." Kakashi said rubbing his forehead.

I rummaged through my jean pockets and pulled out three sliced of apples. "Eat these and prove it." I said narrowing my eyes suspiciously.

"Where'd u get those?" kaka asked me.

"I took them from a vendor when you were in that adult store u said I couldn't go in."

Kaka looked a bit uncomfortable. "Don't mention that store please. Erm..you didn't STEAL them did you?" he asked.

"Course not!" he sighed relieved.

"I bought them with the money I took from you." I said smiling.

"WHAT!"

"So who wants to go hunt bearfish?" I asked happily skipping off.

"Yeah I'll come. Hey wait up! What's a bearfish?" the blond head kid asked chasing after me.

**Okay chapter three complete w00t well tell me what you think or else I shall teach you the lesson of 'what happens when you do not review' well c ya! NOW REVIEW OR ELSE MWUAH HA HA -cough- ;;**


	4. Chapter 4

**YOU PEOPLE ARE THE BEST EVER! Thanx so much for the reviews! wow and the funny thing is I didn't think it was that funny then everyone was all...HA HA HA and I was all o.0 but...falls down...OW FRUIT PEOPLE QUIT THROWING FRUIT AT ME! Anyways...huggles large panda the size of a skyscraper and eats pocky...ha thanx u know who u are well chapter four is here wooh hooo**

**Disclaimer: o.o erm...shifty eyes...no, no I swear I have no idea where your panda is diedara **

**Chapter 4: the random dance party, Zabuza and Atlantis **

Naruto and I were happily running for the water...although I had no clue where I was going. I stopped and so did Naruto. We were in the middle of the forest and completely lost.

"Erm... blondie ...where are we?" I asked confused.

"Eh? You don't know?" he asked looking around. Kakashi and the others raced up.

"NARUTO! DO NOT JUST RUN OFF LIKE THAT!" the girl hit the boy...Naruto...on the head, veins throbbing.

"OW! BUT SAKURA-CHAN!" he whined holding his head.

I stared at the scene and smiled happily. Ahh...I wanted to hit something too...I glanced around and saw Kaka reading his book. I'd already tortured him today so that meant (yup you guessed it). I walked over to the black haired boy who was watching me closely.

**Sasuke's POV:**

I really didn't trust this Kisa. She seemed suspicious. Hmm...why is she staring at me like that? Hell no...she better not have turned all fangirlish on me. I smirked as she drew closer. Man I still had it. I watched as she lifted her hand in greeting. I frowned and prepared myself to ignore her.

**End Sasuke's POV**

I saw the boy smirk arrogantly and raised my hand to hit him. His smirk turned into a frown and he slumped a little more. I punched him on the head and he stared at me shocked. He was on the ground and everybody in the clearing had looked over. Even Kaka had put down his book. I picked up a twig and poked him. I was aiming for his cheek but he turned his head and the stick ended up going up his nose. I laughed and jumped around already bored. I turned to see him standing, twig still in nose and an expression of pure fury on his face. Kaka came and stood beside him.

"Now Sasuke don't be rash..." Kaka said smiling.

"LET ME AT HER! SHE"S ONLY A YEAR YOUNGER THAN US RIGHT? PERFECT THEN I CAN"T BE FINED..." he broke off choking as I shoved an apple slice down his throat.

"HA! I knew it you ARE a fruit person!" I picked up a rather large stick and flung it at his head. He dodged it and it hit kaka instead. I then began throwing everything I could reach at him and he dodged almost all of it. ALMOST. I had picked up a snake and threw it at him, course I didn't know it was a snake I just threw it (being the innocent little angel I am I would've never thrown it if I'd known (shifty eyes)). He yelped as it slid down his shirt and he began jumping and dancing around.

"YAY! Random dance party." I shouted doing the shopping cart. That's when I saw it. I stared wide eyed at the most beautiful thing ever invented. A few yards ahead there sat an oreo. It lay there, a ray of light shining on it from the heavens. I looked at the group. Kaka was reading his book again and the girl, Sakura was screaming for Sasuke to calm down. Sasuke was still hopping around with the twig still lodged in his nose shouting that it was in his pants and Naruto was refusing to plunge in and grab it so sakura was also yelling at him. I rushed toward the oreo but it bounced away. I chased after it until I ran smack into someone. He had a large sword on his back and a mask covering the lower part of his face. He was really tall and had some leg warmers on his arms? I'd ask him about that later...anyways...he had a huge sword on his back which I made a note to steal when I get the chance and he had no shirt on. I stared wide eyed at his chest and screamed really loud.

"MY POOR INNOCENT BUT NOT SO INNOCENT EYES!" he picked me up and covered my mouth.

"Shut up." he said ferociously.

"AAAAHHHH! NOW HE"S GONNA RAPE ME!"

"No I'm not!" a very feminine boy appeared. He had long black hair.

"O0o0o0oh. I see you're gay." I said it all coming together.

"What the hell...NO I"M NOT!" he said face turning red.

"Sure...sure."

"Haku watch her for a minute." he shouted angrily stalking off.

"So...do you like him back?" Haku gave me a strange look and a small blush appeared.

"HA! I knew it!" I shouted doing the shopping cart. "Oh hey...is there water around here?"

"Yes."

"Can you take me to it?" I poked Haku over and over in the forehead until a red spot began to appear.

"Alright I'll take you."

"YAY! So why did that guy lure me away?" I asked as we walked to the water.

"Master Zabuza is using you as bait to lure Kakashi in." He stopped and covered his mouth, staring at me wide eyed. I ignored him and squealed, running to the sparkly water. I jumped in and began trying to move the water apart. Haku sweat dropped.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh...I'm looking for Atlantis."I muttered. "Or a bearfish. I need to tell Kisame's mom that he skipped time out." I glared off into space.

"HEAR THAT KISAME YOUR MAMMA IS GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT!" I shouted fist raised.

**At the akatsuki base:**

"Hey. Did you guys hear that?" Kisame muttered looking around.

"Hear what?" Itatchi asked.

"I heard someone scream my name."

"I think you're going crazy like Itatchi yeah." Diedara stated.

"WTF!" Itatchi began chasing Diedara.

"It was a joke un a joke!" Diedara yelled running for his life.

**Well...REVIEWS PEOPLE! Or else i'mma gonna get Kisame's mom on your butt. Yeah this is ones for all you Zabuza/Haku fans out there I'm not into that but hey to make u happy well...REVIEW OR ELSE THAT TWIG IS GONNA BE SHOVED SOMEWHERE BESIDES SASUKE"S NOSE xD...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks all you reviewers out there you're the best. This entire story is dedicated to my awesome friend and beta reader Gaara's desert blossom. Well hope you all enjoy this chapter. Sorry about the last chapter, I was a bit slow (last chapter wasn't as funny to me.) well anyway… a new character is being added to this story her name is….SHRECE! (gaara's desert blossom) well enjoy all the craziness and review or the fruit people will attack rawr xD.**

Disclaimer: Mr.Michelle o.o 

**Chapter 5: the fight, oreo power and Shrece.**

I was very disappointed. I neither found Atlantis nor a bearfish. Fate was cruel. Luckily however I had my new friend Haku to cheer me up. Ahh….the wonders of playing with a boy's long, shiny black hair. I sat on a log by the water and braided Haku's hair while singing the llama song.

"Here's a llama there's a llama. Everywhere another llama. Alarm a llama half a llama llama llama….DUCK!" at duck I jumped up scaring Haku senseless.

"Hey Haku….I've been meaning to ask you. How did you know I like oreos?" I asked looking at him with wide innocent eyes. (kakashi: innocent my ass…)

"Well, we saw you when you first arrived, we were nearby and heard you yelling something about a guy having oreos." Haku stated calmly.

I began poking him in the head with a stick.

"Um…what are you doing?" Haku asked sweat dropping.

"I'm trying to get you angry…you're always too calm."

Haku sighed just as Zabuza appeared.

"Haku, I've been looking for you everywhere!" he shouted. He sweat dropped as I ran over to him and began poking his head.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" he shouted, his face turning an interesting shade of red and purple.

"You see Haku, THAT is what you should do." I said happily. The next thing I knew everything went dark (seems to happen a lot no?). I was lifted off the ground and flung over someone's shoulder.

"HEY I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO FLY!" I shouted struggling to flap my arms.

**Team sevens POV:**

Kakashi sat on a tree branch reading his beloved book which Jiraiya had smuggled to him when Tsunade wasn't looking. Sasuke had finally gotten the snake out after Naruto had taken a stick and hit him right where it hurts. Now he was on the ground moaning and cursing Naruto under his breath as Sakura was trying to calm him and hit Naruto at the same time.

"Hey….where's Kisa?" Naruto asked looking around.

Kakashi looked up and searched the clearing….no one.

'Oh crap. Tsunade will have my head…or worse…my books!' he thought.

Just then a large sword zoomed past Kakashi who barely dodged in time.

"Kakashi." Out from the trees stepped Zabuza.

Kakashi's eyes…err….EYE widened. "Zabuza."

"I have your little friend. Meet in this clearing in two hours. No harm has come to her…yet." He stated before disappearing.

So here they were, waiting impatiently for Zabuza to appear.

"I WAS ONCE A TREEHOUSE I LIVED IN A CAKE BUT I NEVER SAW THE WAY THE ORANGE SLAYED THE RAKE!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP!"

Kakashi sweat dropped as Zabuza and Haku appeared, Kisa in a sack and slung over Zabuza's shoulder.

"FUZZY LLAMA FURRY LLAMA HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A LLAMA KISSED A LLAMA ON A LLAMA? LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA DUCK!"

He dropped her none to gently on the ground.

"OW! FLYING STILL HURTS….!" She cried.

'What in the world is she talking about?" Kakashi thought.

"Here's your precious flower Kakashi. Now for the payment….I want a fight."

END POV 

I found my way out of the paper sack. HA! In Josh Turner's face. Mr. 'you can't find your way out of a paper sack.' This sure proves him wrong!

Anyway I watched as Kaka and Zabuza charged at each other. Naruto rushed over to where I was.

"KISA!" he shouted. Haku jumped in front of him.

"It's alright Haku. He's not a fruit person." I said smiling happily.

Haku gave me a weird look.

"Fruit person?" he asked slightly confused.

"Yup…they are evil…." I looked around with narrowed eyes.

"Naruto! Sasuke! Get Kisa to Sakura. Sakura you keep her safe." He shouted dodging an attack by Zabuza.

A clone appeared behind Sasuke who quickly dodged the attack and flung a kunai at it. It disappeared into a bunch of water.

I was staring wide eyed at Zabuza. I rushed over to him and tackled him to the ground hugging him.

"WTF! GET THE HELL OFF ME!" he shouted struggling to get up.

"You never told me you were from Atlantis too!" I shouted happily.

"What are you…..GET OFF!" he shouted flinging me into a bush.

"YOU ARE A FRUIT PERSON! Only a fruit person would toss me in this type of bush!" I shouted angrily.

I rushed at him and stole his awesome sword off his back.

"GIVE ME BACK MY…" Kaka punched him to the ground before he finished the sentence. I glared at the sword trying to get it to move. Damn it was heavy. I sighed and rubbed my eyes then it hit me. I'll just use the power of the oreos to move it. I stared long and hard at the sword, willing it to move. Just then it turned slowly and lifted off the ground. I looked up at it with glee.

"YES! Never underestimate the power of the oreos!" I shouted happily doing the cha cha with a sombrero and maracas which appeared out of nowhere.

Into the clearing stepped a red haired boy with the kanji for love on his forehead. He had sea-foam green eyes surrounded in dark circles. He had a gourd on his back and he was scowling. I stared starry eyed at him.

"I LOVE YOU NON-FRUIT PERSON!" I shouted at him happily. Then out stepped a girl about my age. She had long dark blue hair and pink eyes. She wore a plaid mini-skirt and a long sleeved fishnet top with a black tank top underneath. She had fishnets on her legs and wore a pair of the most awesome black boots I had ever laid eyes on. I stared at her with eyes wide and let out a squeal of happiness. She did the same and we both hurtled full speed toward each other. The next thing we knew we were on the ground holding our heads in pain from the collision and laughing our heads off.

Everyone in the clearing sweat dropped.

"Oh my God Shrece, what are you doing here?" I shouted happily as we scrambled to our feet and gave each other a sisterly hug.

"I came here about three years ago. What are YOU doing here?" she asked happily.

"A dumb squirrel stole my house keys." I muttered angrily glaring off into space.

Shrece sweat dropped and wondered what in the world I was talking about.

"Oh this is Gaara, my boyfriend." She said as the red haired boy sidled up beside her.

"Gaara-niisan!" I shouted hugging him. He stood shocked and glared.

"Gaara this is my dear old friend I told you so much about." Shrece said happily.

Gaara looked me over and gave off what might've been a smile.

"Hello." He said.

Shrece looked at him and hugged him happily. "OMG I LOVE YOU! You actually said something to someone besides me and your brother and sister."

I laughed and suddenly remembered the fight. Kaka and Zabuza stood throwing punch after punch and jutsu after jutsu toward each other with incredible speed. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Haku stared in confusion at us. I waved them over. They came over. (ha ha real original huh xp)

"Gaara how's it going?" Naruto shouted. Gaara nodded in their direction.

He used his sand on the sword(as he did to make it lift…it wasn't oreo power after all sadly) to bring it over. I burst into tears and Shrece jumped startled and tried to console me asking me what was wrong.

"H-he moved the sword…not oreo power." I sniffled.

"There, there." Shrece patted my back and gave me a wheat thin.

"Thank you SO much." I said glomping her.

A few minutes later, Kaka came over Zabuza (or as I now dubbed him with a branch Zaza) was on the ground unconscious. Haku remembered that he was not supposed to be intervening with the enemy jumped up and grabbed Zaza, disappearing in a poof of smoke.

"AAHH! HE EXPLODED JUST LIKE THE OTHER ONE!" I shouted running in circles. Everyone sweat dropped and Shrece laughed happily and also began running in circles for the hell of it.

We crashed into each other in all the confusion and we fell unconscious. Gaara picked up Shrece and Kakashi picked up me and they headed for Konoha.

"HEY! We never got to go to the water to catch a bearfish." Naruto yelled out suddenly. Sakura smacked him on the back of the head.

"OW! Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined.

"Idiot"

**Wow…that was a really long chapter o.o…..well…review or the oreo power will come and get you dun dun dun xD ha ha sry…well REVIEW! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hmm...well lotsa ppl looked at it but not so many reviewed...those fruit ppl must've threatened you...those hos (glares at fruit ppl) anyways...to those that DID review...thank you so much I love you guys (not like that mind out of gutter)well...chapter six...REVIEW :) **

**Disclaimer: I like pie flavored muffins :)**

**Chapter 6: The closet, cat ears, and konoha academy **

My eyes were narrowed, my face revealing nothing. I would never cave in, never tell him where it was.

He narrowed his eye and growled angrily. "I said tell me." he took out a kunai and held it to my throat.

"Kill me and you'll never know." I busted out it maniacal laughter.

A soft knock on the door was heard before it creaked open. Shrece walked in and stared at me then kaka then back at me.

**Shrece's POV**

I knocked on the door and walked in thinking about my wheat thins. I stopped dead as I saw Kakashi crouching in front of Kisa, eyes locked and narrowed. Kisa was tied to a chair and had a kunai to her throat. I grew furious. NO ONE ties up my best friends except ME!

**END POV**

I smiled brightly at Shrece who was looking pretty angry. She marched over to Kaka and yanked the kunai away.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" she shouted angrily muttering something about only her tying her friends up.

"Not until she tells me where it is!" Kaka roared.

"NEVER!" I shouted gleefully popping out of the chair.

"Where did the ropes go?" Kaka asked slightly confused.

"Um...I sold them on e-bay?" I said with shifty eyes.

"What the hell is e-bay? And how did you get untied?"

"E-bay is awesome and there never were any ropes."

"But you just said you..."

"No she's right Kakashi, there were no ropes." Shrece said wisely. We nodded our heads seriously.

"WHERE IS IT!"

"I SHALL NEVER TELL!" I ran out the door with Shrece at my heels.

15 minutes later

"What did you take from him that has made him chase us all around Konoha." Shrece said as we panted on the brick wall. We had managed to lose Kaka...for now.

"The newest Icha Icha paradise book. Jiraiya left it with me and I just HAD to hide it. He won't let me read the others." I said angrily glaring at a squirrel that passed by.

"STUPID SQUIRREL!" I lunged for it and it scampered off, me chasing it.

Shrece, with her short attention span, walked away to find her beloved Gaara who was probably off torturing some innocent tourist.

**At the Akatsuki base**

"My poor bear. What have they done to you?" Diedara sat in a corner holding on to his favorite stuffed panda, trying to stop the stuffing from falling out.

"DIEDARA!" Itatchi roared coming around the corner. "PUT THE DAMN BEAR DOWN! AKATSUKI DO NOT HAVE TOYS!"

"NOOOOO! You and kisame have toys I want some too!" he whined running away.

"We have WEAPONS! I repeat WEAPONS! NOT TOYS!"

Kisame appeared with an oreo in hand. Itatchi and Diedara stopped and looked at him.

"What? WHAT! I WANTED A FRIGGIN' OREO IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU!" he asked angrily shoving the oreo into his mouth.

"We are going crazy! It's all that girl's fault." Itatchi groaned grabbing his head in his hands.

"I bet if she was here, we wouldn't be acting like this."

"That's a great idea Diedara." Itatchi said smirking.

"Wasn't me." Diedara muttered shaking his head. Itatchi looked over at Kisame who also shook his head.

"Then who..."

"Down here." They all looked down to see Diedara's panda standing up with an army hat on.

**Everyone:** "o.0 WTF!"

"Oh panda-kun I love you un. I knew you could talk." Diedara said huggling the panda who did the Pillsbury dough boy laugh (except much more eviller and demonic).

Kisame began poking the bear who slapped him.

"My poor head." Itatchi said watching the panda and Kisame start to fight.

**Back in Konoha:**

"I am now an oreo tree! Because life is full of glee and I know those agree with me that I am now an oreo tree!" Me and Shrece were walking arms linked and singing a random oreo song we just made up.

Kaka had agreed to stop chasing me and to let me do whatever I want for a month and him be my slave for three weeks or else I'd burn his book.

He was off to the side muttering dark things beneath his mask.

"Kaka. I'mma hungry." I said looking at him with wide eyes. Team seven had finished training an hour ago and were lazily walking down the street.

"Fine. Where do you wanna go..."

"ICHIRAKU RAMEN!" Naruto shouted grabbing my hand and practically dragging me and Shrece to the restaurant. **(A/N: Did I spell Ichiraku right?) **

After eating a bowl of Ramen I was content to just sit and watch Naruto down his twelfth bowl of ramen.

"Wow."

"I know he eats a lot huh?" A guy asked sidling up to me.

"No. I was just thinking about a duck flying south for winter. It saves gas milage and he gets a free vacation." the guy gave me a weird look before slinking away.

I stood up and decided to go for a walk.

**Sasuke's POV:**

I watched Kisa get up and begin to wander around. I still didn't trust her enough so I decided to follow her. I watched as she looked around before entering a place. Ha finally I would catch her in the act! I followed her inside.

**End Sasuke's POV:**

I saw a door to my left and looked around for someone to tell me what it was. Deciding I would find out either way, I walked into a...broom closet?

I felt a presence behind me and spun to see the Sasuke guy who shut the door quickly.

"NO! You idiot! Don't EVER shut the door to a broom closet!" I shouted angrily.

"Why not?" I watched him try to open the door. "The knobs not turning!"

"NO DUH! IT"S A BROOM CLOSET!" he kicked it with a chakra infused foot and hand. I sat there bored drawing things on a piece of paper I randomly found. Sasuke sat panting and glared at me.

"You could at least do SOMETHING!" he shouted.

I glared at him evilly.

"I am doing something." I held up a piece of paper that had a duck flying south for winter on it.

"See? I'm finding new ways to shorten a duck' s travel velocity." I said happily.

"Do yo have any idea what you just said?"

"Nope." I saw him sweat drop and I continued doodling.

:Have any clue why we can't get out?"Sasuke asked after a while.

"Yep."

"What?"

"A) fruit ppl B) broom closets are impossible to break out of and C) there's a piano blocking the way."

"Those are all stupid choices." Sasuke muttered.

**Back outside:**

"Man...those stupid ropes HAD to break huh? NOW how are we gonna get the piano up there?"

"I don't know George, I do not know."

**In broom closet:**

"Stop it."

"I mean it."

"I am warning you."

I continued poking sasuke in the same spot on his forehead for the past ten minutes.

"I SAID STOP IT!" he shouted flinging his arms like a mad man.

"FINE I WILL!" I sat back down and huffed angrily. After another moment of silence, I began poking his foot.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHEN I SAY STOP IT!" He shouted angrily. "SOMEONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE OPEN THIS DOOR!"

"Ha! I'm gonna tell everyone that you are actually begging." I said gleefully.

"WHO WOULDN'T! ANY PERSON WOULD BEG FOR THIS TORTURE TO STOP! ALL I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU IS THAT THE MEANING OF LIFE IS...IS...HELL I DON"T REMEMBER."

"The meaning of life is to protect pink elephants. Because without pink elephants there'll be no trees, without trees no oxygen, without oxygen no air, without no air no internet, no internet no people."

"YES THAT AND OREOS! THATS IT!"

"And Shrece and gaara and pandas and..."

"ARGH! JUST OPEN THE DOOR!" Sasuke screamed, crying.

"Here let me try." I pointed to the door and did the Ayame (furuba :) ) pose.

"SUBMIT TO ME!" and the door...stayed shut.

"That's all I can do." I said happily sitting back down.

"WHAT!" the door opened and revealed two workmen.

"Sorry kids, we heard someone say submit to me so we had to check it out. You guys okay? A piano got stuck in front of the door." I glanced over at Sasuke who glared and handed over fifty bucks.

"We're fine!"

Sasuke ran out of the closet and breathed in the air happily. "FREEDOM!" he shouted.

"Kisa, Sasuke you okay?" Shrece ran up to us.

"I made Sasuke beg and cry and I won a wager for fifty bucks because a piano was blocking the broom closet." I said happily. "Oh right and Sasuke's not a fruit person. HE eats Tomatoes." I nodded happily and black cat ears appeared on my head as Everyone else ran up.

"Where did you get cat ears?" Kaka asked, eyes wide.

"I've always had them."

"Nuh uh."

"Uh huh."

"Nuh uh."

"Uh huh." Nuh...ARGH FORGET IT! I just came to tell you that you'll be starting Konoha leaf academy tomorrow." Kakashi said.

"It's a pickle." Everyone sweat dropped as me and Shrece ran to the pickle vendor (yes a pickle vendor) and ordered two HUGE pickles."

"OMG! IT"S THREE!" I shouted happily as I wrote the answer on a piece of paper.

"What is?"Naruto asked.

"The shortened route of a duck's way south." I answered. Me and Shrece put our heads together to now solve the problem of how to destroy fruit people around the world in 80 days.".

**Wow I'm really tired. Hm...I forgot what I wrote in my story already xp well then...erm...review or else I'll burn the orange book... . . **


	7. Chapter 7

**K chapter seven is here hos w00t :) well thanx to all my reviewers out there and this story is dedicated to gaara's desert blossom. My friend/father (not my real father jeez xp) Katie the spaztastic drew an awesome pic but it won't let me upload it TT so if anyone has any idea how to do that pls pls pls tell me and you get a free oreo.**

**Disclaimer: is it a European swallow or an African swallow? 0.o the world may never know**

**Chapter seven: Konoha Academy and Gaara's decision **

I was once again snuggling deeply with my panda. Ahh the joys of sleeping.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I shouted out really annoyed and stood on my bed startling the tiny spider in the corner of the room. My eyes were burning and my hair floating around my head like flames. I grabbed the alarm clock and flung it with all my might against the door which opened to reveal kaka who grabbed his head in pain. The clock smashed to pieces. He got up and glared at me, stopping dead.

**Kakashi's POV:**

I opened the door to wake up the insane little demon that I was forced to let live in my house. I saw a black object hurtle toward me and hit me in the forehead before I could dodge. Colors flashed before my eyes as I fell to the ground with my head in my hands. I stood up angrily and turned to yell at her when a scary and wonderful sight reached my eyes. She was standing on the bed, her black silk shirt slipping off of her shoulder (she only wore large, baggy shirts to bed) and her hair dancing around her head like flames. She was breathing heavily and dark aura was emanating from her as she clutched her panda loosely. Her blue eyes flashed angrily and her teeth were bared. I slowly backed out of the room and shut the door. I DID NOT JUST THINK OF HER LIKE THAT! NO NO NO NO NO! I AM NOT A...okay yes I am a pervert...BUT I AM NO PEDOPHILE! I AM NOT LIKE OROCHIMARU! I breathed in a ragged breath and walked back in. She was still standing like she was except her hair was now messily thrown around her face and her eyes were halfway closed. I immediately shut the door again and gulped. This was not good. Not good at all. Gathering my courage I opened the door one more time and sweat dropped. She was now lying asleep on top of her dresser, cuddling her panda close with the covers thrown on top of her. I blushed but shook my head to clear my mind. If I had my book then I would not be thinking this way. I heard a small chuckle and glared at the tiny spider in the corner. The spider batted it's eyelashes at me and giggled like an insane fangirl. I drew in a breath and approached the demon. I reached for her shoulder and, praying that I was not about to be sent to an early grave, shook her shoulder.

**End Kakashi's POV:**

I felt someone tugging my shoulder. They were about to be sent to an early grave. Unless they were praying, then they better hope that God was listening. I opened my eyes, balled my fist and leaped at the person.

"SORRY I'M LATE!" I slammed the door open and every one's head turned toward me.

"KISA!" I saw Shrece jump up and rush toward me. "Where were you? I was so worried!" she said hugging me.

"Shrece...air...breathing...must..."

"Oh right sorry."

"Hello, and who might you be?" the teacher asked me looking over the role.

"I am the master of all insanity, heiress of the randomness, princess of the darkness and goddess of the oreo people." I shouted pumping my fist in the air as Shrece clapped and cheered.

Everyone in the room sweat dropped.

"She's Kisa...the girl that Tsunade mentioned." there was a gasp and a girl screamed as Kakashi poofed up behind me.

"What the hell happened to you?" Shrece asked looking at Kakashi. He had his head wrapped in bandages and cuts all around his arms and face. His mask was slightly torn and you could see a nice bruise appearing around his swollen eye.

"He woke me up in the morning. NO ONE wakes me up in the morning." I muttered darkly. Everyone backed away a few feet. Shrece patted Kakashi on the arm making him wince.

"Sorry."

"No you're not." he muttered seeing her holding back her laughter.

"Well, take a seat." I looked around the room as Shrece tugged me along the aisle up to the seat beside her. A brown headed boy with a ponytail was sleeping soundly and Gaara was on her other side. She punched the boy out of the chair who fell off and got up rubbing his cheek. I sweat dropped and gave off a nervous laugh as she pushed me into it and settled beside me.

"That's my seat." the boy said angrily. I watched Naruto stand up from the back.

"LEAVE HER ALONE SHIKAMARU!" he shouted angrily pointing at the said boy.

"No, no I'll get up if you want." I replied sweat dropping.

"I do." he growled. Gaara shot him a look and his sand moved out of his gourd threateningly.

"SHIKAMARU! LET THE BEAUTIFUL GODDESS OF OREOS BE! SHE HAS DONE NOTHING TO DISRUPT YOUR YOUTH THAT YOU HAVE LET SLIPPED BY!" a boy in green spandex, a lot like the man I saw in the hospital, shouted also standing up.

I sweat dropped and stood up.

"Don't be silly. If the guy wants this seat he can have it. Besides I wanna sit somewhere new anyway." I looked around the room. A blonde haired girl was snuggling up to Sasuke, and Sakura was too. Both were glaring at each other. Naruto had a cute, short haired girl with pearl white eyes sitting beside him and blushing like crazy. I swore I saw her staring at his ass. A long brown haired boy in a low ponytail and another set of pearl white eyes was sitting at the end of the aisle. An empty seat beside him. I walked over there and asked if I could sit next to him.

"No." he answered simply.

I looked at the boy with a dog on his head. The empty seat was also beside him.

"Can I sit next to you?" I asked.

"Sure, whatever." he muttered.

I happily worked my way over just as the white eyed boy put his feet on the desk blocking my way.

"Excuse me." I said getting a little ticked off. It was still morning and I hated people like this.

"I said you couldn't sit here." he replied.

"YOU CAN SIT HERE MY LOVE!" I heard the green spandex guy shout.

"NO WAY IS SHE SITTING NEXT TO YOU LEE! SHE"S SITTING OVER HERE!" Naruto shouted.

I shuttered and glared at the brown headed boy then smiled sweetly. I walked up to his legs and laid my hands on his knee.

"W-what are you doing?" he said angrily.

I brought my face close to his ear ans blew into it softly as I moved my hand further up.

He blushed crimson. I took the moment to grab his leg and fling him to the floor, shoving my foot in his crotch.

I happily settled into my seat and watched him rolling on the floor.

Iruka was talking to kaka who disappeared in a poof of smoke. He glanced at Neiji and sighed annoyed.

"Neiji, get off of the floor." he said annoyed.

Neiji crawled to his seat and hoisted himself up as he glared at me. I gave him and innocent look and smiled sweetly. The teacher began the lesson. Sometime in the middle of the lesson, the dog on the boy's head walked over to me and snuggled against my hand.

"Akamaru!" the boy hissed out.

"Aww...so cute." I said picking it up and huggling it.

The dog barked and snuggled closer to me.

**Gaara's POV:**

Class was over and I made my way around Konoha. I had told Shrece that I was going to train but I had other intentions. I worked my way to the jeweler shop and paused outside the window staring at the beautiful things that I just knew Shrece would love. I glanced back one more time before walking by.

**End Gaara's POV**

Class had ended and me and Shrece were walking down the street, a group of guys following us closely. We were getting a little uncomfortable and since Gaara was out training and not here to protect us from the rabid group of fan boys and a few fan girls (coughcreepycough) we decided to make a break for it.

We were outside of Kaka's house and panting heavily.

"Wow that was really scary. We seem to be chased a lot nee?" I asked.

"Yup."

I heard a whining and looked at my feet. There stood Akamaru pawing my leg gently.

"Kywa! So cute!" I said picking him up and snuggling him close.

"AKAMARU! THERE YOU ARE!" shouted the boy, Kiba, I believe his name was.

I watched him run up to us and blush.

"H-h-hello." he stuttered as he took Akamaru from my arms.

"HI! Have you seen Atlantis yet?" I asked happily pulling out a pen and paper as Shrece pulled out a microphone and held it up to him.

"Err...no?"

"AW MAN!" I said and Shrece put the microphone back reluctantly.

**THE AKATSUKI:**

"Bamboo to Suave shampoo, come in suave shampoo. Over."

"Suave shampoo here un. In position and waiting for the signal. Over"

"Copy suave shampoo. What about you sharkie? Over."

"Sharkie here. Also in position and waiting. Over."

"Copy that Sharkie. Bamboo to tinted nails come in tinted nails over." Itatchi hit Diedara, Kisame and the panda on the head.

"CUT IT OUT!" he hissed angrily staring at he guys crouching beside him.

"Ow. But Itatchi un we were just using our walkie talkies."

"Those are pine cones now pay attention. We sneak in tomorrow night and retrieve the insane girl. Then we work our way to the camp. If anyone gets in our way, kill them. Understood?"

"Understood. Over." Itatchi hit all three of them over the heads again. Now time to settle down and wait.

**WOW. Now this is a REALLY long chapter o.o well REVIEW PPL OR ELSE OR ELSE...YOU KNOW WHEN KISA BEAT KAKASHI UP! YEAH THINK ABOUT THAT EXCEPT A HUNDRED TIMES WORSE PLUS BEING LOCKED IN A CLOSET WITH GAI OR LEE OR YOU LEAST FAVORITE CAST MEMBER! Grrr...-cough-...well review :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 is here o.o wow 8 chapters should I stop the story? (Hides behind a bearfish) Ok ok don't kill me :) well um...this story is dedicated to gaara's desert blossom well enjoy or else I will do something terrible to your favorite character mwuah ha ha -cough- REVIEW:)**

**Disclaimer: RANDOM DANCE PARTY HOS! **

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"DAMN IT WOMAN GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK!" Kaka shouted angrily.

"Ooh I'm telling Tsunade you said a bad word." I replied my eyes going wide.

"WHAT! NO!" Kaka shouted fearfully thinking of all the things Tsunade would do to him.

"It's okay Kakashi, I'll give you another copy." Jiraiya said patting Kaka's arm.

"You won't be able to." I said innocently.

"And why is that my dear?" Jiraiya asked.

"Because I took those too." I said happily as I escaped.

"NOOOOO!" I laughed as I heard Jiraiya and Kaka scream in unison.

"HEY! THERE SHE IS!" I turned at the shout and sweat dropped as I saw Lee waving furiously. I immediately grew scared as a LARGE group of guys gathered behind him.

"Oh...my...good...God." I said before making a run for it.

Thirty minutes later

"SOMEONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!" I screamed as I continued fleeing from the rabid fanboys.

"Kisa?" I felt sand wrap around me and lift me in the air.

"Gaara-niisan!" I shouted happily hugging Gaara causing us both to fall out of the tree.

"OW!" I shouted. "Why didn't your sand stop the fall?"

"Hn..."

**With Shukaku:**

"So...do you come here often? Oops, I forgot..." Does weird hand movement and sand falls out of Gaara's gourd.

"Anyway ladies..."

**Normal POV:**

"EH! Why am I covered in sand? GAARA!"

Gaara sat looking utterly pissed and screaming curses in his mind.

"Gaara?" I poked Gaara in the eye causing him to hiss in pain and glare at me.

"Kisa."

"Yes?"

"I need your help."

"KYWAH! MY help? Whatever for?" Gaara began whispering in my ear and my eyes grew wide.

"Oh. OOOOOOH!"

**Shrece's POV:**

It was weird, I hadn't seen Gaara or Kisa all day and I was getting pretty pissed. Okay okay...I have to admit that the letter I had gotten from Gaara counted as SOMETHING but it was still no rubber ducky.

"It said meet by the bridge at nine." I muttered. I wore my favorite black dress with a small, pink fishnet Jacket that tied in the front. My hair was in a high ponytail on my head and I was sitting on a bench waiting for the anonymous person to show up.

"Shrece." I turned and blushed as I saw Gaara walking toward me. He was wearing a red, silk dress shirt and a tight black one underneath. He wore a pair of baggy black pants and he was looking hotter than ever.

"G-gaara?" I said standing up.

"Shrece, let's, take a walk."

I gave him a strange look but nodded my head, thinking of all the wheat thins I would love to be eating with him right about now.

After a few minutes of walking, he paused and placed a hand on my arm.

There was a clear view of the full moon and a beautiful lake.

"Shrece, I want to ask you a question." he said seriously. I gulped and nodded wishing that my rubber ducky pal was here right about now.

"I...the first time I laid my hands on you...wait no that isn't right..." he muttered staring intently at his left palm.

"The first time I laid my EYES on you I couldn't get you out of my bed. Err...HEAD. I wanted to say this to you before anyone else had a chance to cook you lasagna...I mean take you away. Your eyes are filled with dad's first blush...DAWNS first blush...AH FORGET IT!"

I reeled back at his outburst and gasped as he captured his lips with mine.

After breaking away to get some air, he got down on one knee and pulled out a black box and opened it. Revealing a diamond ring with beautiful, crushed dark blue and pink gems surrounding it.

"Will you marry me." I stood in shock with my mouth open.

"Gaara..." I reached down and pulled him to his feet, kissing him with all the passion I felt. "I would love nothing more." I whispered. He pressed his forehead against mine and whispered softly.

"I love you."

We spun around as we heard a thud and a soft "ow."

"Erm...Kisa?" I asked staring at my said friend.

"Oh...uh...hey guys...ignore me...I was uh...just out looking for bearfish and Atlantis. Yeah well...congratulations and um...good night." I watched her disappear in the night and laughed. I felt Gaara slip the ring on my finger and kiss me again. We kissed and kissed until everything faded away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw words written on Gaara's left palm and smiled mentally knowing that Kisa had something to do with this. We walked hand in hand away from the clearing. I couldn't wait to get home and open a box of my favorite wheat thins and tell everything to my duckie pal.

**That was chapter 8. Yes yes A LOT of fluff but I had to put it in there. So review or else I will cook u lasagna...wait...thats not much of a threat...hmm...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello all you faithful reviewers :) I lurve you all (sometimes xp) anyway here is chapter nine I wonder what will happen? **

**Soara (my inner) : you're the author you should know**

**(squeals) I'm so excited I can't wait to find out**

**Soara: HELLO! YOU ARE THE AUTHOR!**

**So? (Blink blink)**

**Soara: SO! YOU'RE WRITING THE...**

**Anyway...pls enjoy and review :) **

**Soara: DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!**

**(Catfight in mind)**

**Disclaimer: I've got twelve mints...in my mouth...o.o**

**Chapter 9**

"Your handwriting is terrible." Gaara said walking up to me. I sat beneath a bench...yes...BENEATH a bench...beaming up at Gaara.

"Nuh uh. You just cannot read." I replied still digging in the dirt.

"What are you doing?" Gaara questioned.

I crawled out from beneath the bench and sighed." I'm looking for the fruit people, they're close. I can feel it." I looked around suspiciously.

"Whatever. Shrece told me to come and get you. She wants to talk to you." Gaara replied.

"K." I jumped up and brushed off my jeans. "Oh no." I muttered staring at the hill.

"What is it?" Gaara asked raising a non-existent eyebrow.

"Fan-fan-fan-boys." I replied shuddering. Ever since the news spread that Gaara was marrying Shrece, my fangroup had grown multiple times larger than before. Shrece's group came to my group and now I was practically being overrun by rabid boys.

Gaara's sand wrapped around me and we disappeared as the fan-boys began racing down the hill. I could have sworn that a few were foaming at the mouth.

We arrived in front of Shrece's and Gaara's house. Gaara nodded before disappearing in a poof of sand.

"Shrece?" I was tackled to the ground and heard Shrece's incoherent babbling. Something about thanks for everything and waffles pants.

"Um...murfle flurgen." I replied trying to sit up.

"Murfle...never mind. Thanks for helping Gaara out you're the best."

"What are you talking about?" I sweat dropped avoiding her gaze.

"Fine don't admit it but I saw the writing on his hand. WE HAVE TO GO WEDDING SHOPPING AND YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE MY MAID OF HONOR!"

"YAY I GET TO BE THE HONORABLE MAIDEN!" I shouted as we both began jumping up and down happily squealing. Shrece grabbed her purse (filled with Gaara's credit cards) and dragged me off.

I walked home tiredly. I forgot how much torture it was to go shopping with Shrece. She was non-stop and she shoved every piece of fabric she possibly could at you. At least she had fashion sense. I entered the apartment Kaka and I shared and plopped on the couch. Kaka was on an elite mission and had been gone for two weeks. He was supposed to be back tomorrow night. I couldn't wait. I had raided his room and found all sorts of juicy stuff I can black mail him with. Although...that goth loli dress I found in his closet was a bit creepy. I shrugged and popped a few chocolate covered coffee beans in my mouth. The night before I had been jumping around for six hours straight before I collapsed. Akamaru found me and began howling his head off. Poor puppy...I didn't MEAN to hit him its just...well...he woke me up. Come on I just tapped him on the head I swear. I guess I should have listened to the cashier when he told me to take it slow, he was a bit reluctant to let me buy anymore after bag number 345. I downed six of them a week before and was up all week. Now the whole kitchen was filled with pocky, chocolate covered coffee beans and oreos. Ah...the wonders if junk food. I laid my soar feet on the table and sighed tiredly. I popped a few more chocolate covered coffee beans in my mouth.

I was jumping around the streets of konoha, I really REALLY shouldn't have eaten four bags of those things. I felt something grab me from behind and a sharp pain on the back of my neck. Everything went black. (Again xp)

**Chapter 9 is complete w00t. :) well...REVIEW K? If not then...hm...I will set my foaming rabid fan-boys on you. You may think you want it NOW but just wait mwuah ha ha -cough- o.o**


	10. Chapter 10

**HERE'S CH.10! W00t...wow 'tis been a long time since I updated. Well I DID fall off a trampoline ppl! And add school and mountains of homework...anyway here is chapter 10 enjoy. Shout out to Katie u spaz and gaara's desert blossom the Bestest person ever who I dedicated this story too. Well...READ, Possibly enjoy, and REVIEW!**

I sat up with a pounding head, a sore neck and to top it all off no oreos. Someone was going to be seriously injured. I heard shuffling to my right and whipped my head around, causing it to pop into place.

"OW!" I shouted falling off the bed and quickly standing up.

"You're awake." I turned to the sound of a familiar face and came face to face with sharkie.

I stared at him.

He stared back.

Stare.

Stare back.

Stare.

Stare back. With a cry of defiance I leapt at him and tackled him to the ground.

"KISAME YOU HO BAG! I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN TIME OUT AND WHAT DID YOU DO! YOU FRIGGIN' LEFT ME TO BE KNOCKED OUT BY A GUY THAT BLEW HIMSELF UP!" I began choking him until he turned blue...err...well he already WAS blue so I began choking him until his skin turned a normal color.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS RUCKUS!" Itatchi burst into the room, dripping wet and shirtless, holding a towel around his waist. I turned my eyes on him and growled angrily.

"AND YOU OREO WITHHOLDER PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH OF THE ALMIGHTY TWIG!" pulling out a random twig I began poking Itatchi in the forehead continuously over and over again.

"What's going on?" I watched a panda walk in, he had on an army hat and was looking at Itatchi and I (who were now on the floor in a rather...um...EROTIC position).

"AND YOU GAARA IDENTITY STEALER!" I began chasing the bear who ran for his poor little life. Along the way I slammed right into someone.

"Ow. Oh hello Diedara-kun!" I said happily, my mood lightening instantly. The bear who was hiding behind Diedara, Itatchi and Kisame who had gathered themselves together all thought the same thing.

'That bi-polar psychopathic little thing.'

"Oh hello cutie!" Diedara said happily.

"Quit flirting with the hostage Diedara!" the panda shouted angrily.

"What? What? You were thinking the same thing un." Diedara replied happily hugging me against him.

"Why did you attack US and hug HIM!" Kisame shouted jumping in place.

"Because look at Diedara, he's so awesome." I said happily hugging Diedara back.

"Aww ..thanks un." Diedara said, anime tears rolling down his face dramatically.

"Anything for you Diedara." I replied.

"ENOUGH!" Itatchi, who had been silently twitching and for some random reason craving chocolate covered coffee beans, shouted angrily.

"I. WANT. MY. WOOFER!" I shouted tackling Itatchi and choking him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS A WOOFER!" Itatchi sputtered out between breaths, tears forming in his red eyes.

"I WANT MY WOOFER, POCKY, OREOS, CHOCOLATE COVERED COFFEE BEANS, MY PANDA, AND A BEARFISH RIGHT NOW!" I shouted, eyes wild and teeth bared.

"Okay love, okay." Diedara replied sweat dropping.

Thirty minutes later I was surrounded in my favorite treats, snuggling the choking panda close (they couldn't get the real one so I settled for Diedara's live one) and randomly busting out in a Swedish accent, "GET AWAY FROM THE GOAT!"

"Hey what am I doing here?" Itatchi sighed and everyone sweat dropped as I finally asked th question a normal person would have said when they first woke up.

"You're in the Akatsuki base, we have brought you here to train you and use you to get at Konoha..." itatchi trailed off and watched me jump around, hocked up on coffee beans, looking for everything.

"STOP JUMPING AROUND AND PAY ATTENTION!" he shouted a vein popping on his forehead.

I looked at him with wide eyes and smiled sweetly. I reached up my arms to him (for he was a lot taller than me). "Hug?" I whispered sweetly, the cat ears appearing once again.

Itatchi stood there silently, trying to ignore me.

'Must ignore cuteness.' he thought over and over again.

"Pwease?" I asked, my eyes growing wider, tears starting to form.

"ITATCHI YOU'RE SO CRUEL!" Diedara, Kisame, and the panda shouted jumping up and hugging me.

"Idiots." Itatchi muttered, leaving the love-fest behind.

'She almost had me there for a minute.' Itatchi thought angrily as he walked into the other room.

**Well...Chapter 10 is completet. Sry about it I promise to update sooner next time! REVIEW! Or else I wont update for three years...AND I'll use the innocent look on you mwuah ha ha -cough- :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**Here is chapter 11...wow 11 chapters...o.o interesting...anyway Read and review or review then read, but that might not work. This story is dedicated to Gaara's desert blossom well...yeah enjoy **

**Disclaimer: my boot**

**Chapter 11: the kidnaped, the insane, and the heart broke fan boys**

Shrece stretched and woke up happily next to her fiancé, the ever so hot Sabaku no Gaara. Ahh ...what a wonderful world. She got up and planted a kiss on gaara's forehead. He twitched and rolled over in his sleep, well...PRETEND sleep. She looked out her window and stopped dead.

Rabid fanboys (foaming at the mouth of course) were piled in the tree, their faces pressed against the window. There were signs saying "DON"T MARRY GAARA!" "PLEASE RUN AWAY WITH ME!" "LET"S EAT FROGS TOGETHER!" "REPENT!" "W.W.J.D?" and boxes of chocolate. Tears were rolling dramatically down their faces.

Shrece gasped as she heard a cracking sound and the branch gave way, her lover boys tumbling to the hard earth. She ran to the window and sighed relieved that non of the chocolate had been injured, it would have been a waste. She glanced at the branch and narrowed her eyes as she saw sand retreating. She glanced over at Gaara who was still feigning sleep.

"SABAKU NO GAARA GET YOUR BUTT UP!" Gaara groaned and cracked open an eye.

"What?"

"YOU PRACTICALLY KILLED..."

"Those boys deserved it."

"I MEANT THE CHOCOLATE!" with a screech, Shrece pounced Gaara. They began hitting each other with pillows just as the door burst open.

"GAARA! SHRE-" Naruto paused and stared mouth open at the two. Shrece was pinned beneath a shirtless gaara, feathers flying all over the place.

"Naruto, you should have knoc..." Hinata raced up the stairs and stood shocked next to Naruto.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" she said blushing and hiding her face in her hands.

"It's okay, we were just...um...playing." Shrece said shoving Gaara off. He hit the floor with a thud and got up glaring at Shrece who had changed in the bathroom with miraculous speed.

"Well, is there something you need?" Shrece asked politely as Gaara pulled on his shirt.

"What? OH RIGHT! Kisa was kidnaped last night." Naruto said happily. He opened his eyes and screamed like a girl at the expression on Shrece's face. If looks could kill, the world would have been over with.

"Where. Is. She?" Shrece whispered maliciously. Even Gaara shuddered.

"W-w-we don't know Tsunade is requesting our p-p-presence." Hinata shuddered.

With a poof, Shrece was in the Hokage's office.

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHE!" Shrece shouted splitting the desk in two.

Kaka had been pacing around the room, reading the note he had found in the apartment. He was having a hard time controlling his temper too. NO ONE takes his daughter like roommate and gets away with it. Besides, his goth loli dress AND his orange book was missing.

"Now, now Shrece please be calm..."

"I AM CALM!" Tsunade sweat dropped as Shrece began punching Gai who had appeared in the office.

"WHERE IS SHE!" Tsunade sighed again as Kiba, Lee, and haku busted into the office. Wait a minute...Haku?

"HEY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

"Um...I heard she was kidnaped and..." Haku disappeared as twelve shurikens were thrown in his direction. Gaara, Naruto and Hinata then appeared. Along with Sakura and Sasuke.

"Alright everyone calm down. We'll begin the search momentarily. She was kidnaped by Uchiha." Everyone looked at Sasuke angrily.

"Wha...no...not..."

"Itatchi. Uchiha itatchi." Tsunade finished.

"YOU SHOULD"VE SAID IT EARLIER!" Sasuke shouted angrily.

"Be QUITE!" Shrece said punching Sasuke. Everyone backed away a few feet.

"So...what do we do?" Shrece said ignoring Sasuke who was trapped in the wall.

**The Akatsuki base.**

Itatchi sat twitching angrily as he tried to listen to Sasori's report. Laughter could be heard through the door on the right of him.

"RANDOM DANCE PARTY!" There was a loud cheer and Itatchi heard things breaking. The girl sure got along with the others well. Sasori sat staring at the door questionably.

"So it was successful?" Itatchi said through clenched teeth.

"Huh? Oh...um...yes..."

Itatchi sighed.

"The girl." Sasori nodded in understanding.

"You can join them if you want." Itatchi muttered. Sasori squealed happily and burst into the other room. Another loud cheer and the music was turned up. Itatchi made a mental note to take the girl's i-pod and speaker away from her. Pulling out a bag of oreos from beneath his desk, he munched on them and thought about his girl...err...THE girl in the other room.

"Damn, I really need a vacation." he muttered popping another oreo in his mouth.

**In the party room.**

I stood on a table and danced beside Diedara, moving this way and that.

"SHOPPING CART!" I shouted doing the dance. The red headed angel beside me 'whooped' happily and began the dance. I paused shocked. I smelled something. Hopping off the table, I worked my way passed the cloaked Akatsuki and pressed my face against the door.

With a wild cry I burst into the room and tackled a shocked Itatchi to the ground.

"OREOS!"

**To be continued...xp well hope you enjoyed. REVIEW PPL! Or else I'll get the angry Shrece on your butt xp**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello, hello! It tis me back from the nightmarish hell we call an educational system! xp ha, ha sry I couldn't resist. yeah well enjoy this chapter hos because it is the last one! hides I was kidding! Kidding! Ok I'm sorry here's chapter 12 pls enjoy**

**Disclaimer: stitch gone goth o.o**

**Chapter 12: a love blossoms? **

"GIMME GIMME GIMME! I WANT MY OREOS!"

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME WOMAN!"

Itatchi and I were rolling around on the floor. I KNEW he had been with holding oreos from me!

We each got up panting, I clutched his bag of oreos to my chest protectively.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" itatchi shouted, his eyes swirling.

"WAAAHHHHH! DIIIIIEEEEEDDDDAAAAARRRRAAAA! SSSSSAAAASSSSOOOOORRRRIIIII! KKKKKKKKIIIIIISSSSSAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIII!" I screamed as Itatchi grabbed the front of my shirt in a vice grip.

The said group filled the doorway and stared wide eyed at the scene in front of them.

"ITATCHI LET THE ANGEL GO! YEAH!" Diedara shouted angrily.

Itatchi looked at them angrily, they shivered and backed down. He glared at me before tossing me to the side and walking out of the room shaking his head and muttering things about elephant tusks.

"You okay un?" Diedara asked crouching down next to me.

"F-f-fine. But I have to say something..."

"What is it un?"

"SHAKE IT LIKE THE BUTT DOCTOR TAUGHT YA!" I jumped up and ran into the other room, music still blasting.

The others looked at each other before shrugging and running into the room.

**Back in Konoha:**

"Shrece...um...please calm down?" Sakura said sweat dropping as Shrece started yelling and choking ANOTHER innocent civilian as they walked by.

"NOT UNTIL KISA IS HERE IN FRONT OF ME!"

"I'm right here silly!" kisa replied walking in front of her.

"K-k-kisa?" Shrece grew suspicious. "If your Kisa then prove it...what's your favorite color?"

"ORANGE! I-I mean..."

"NARUTO!" Shrece began chasing naruto who poofed back into his normal form.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he cried running for his life.

"NOT YET YOU AREN'T!"

**Somewhere among many trees and bananas...**

"Ooh ooh aah ah." the monkey said eating a bug.

"NOT GEORGE!" Shino cried angrily chasing the monkey.

**In sound...**

"Kabuto. You know what to do." a pale face man on a throne said smiling a twisted smile.

"I am to capture her...understood." a silver haired boy said pushing his wire glasses up his face.

"Yes, she has an untapped power that we MUST have. Do not fail me."

"Yes lord Orochimaru." the silver haired boy said before disappearing,

**In the Akatsuki base...**

"WHAT!" I shouted angrily. "NO NO NO! I AM NOT SLEEPING IN YOUR ROOM YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!"

Itatchi twitched then smirked.

"Fine, you'll sleep with Kisame."

"Okay by me!" I happily gathered my things.

The next thing I knew I was shoved on the bed.

"You are sleeping here and that is final." I looked in Itatchi's eyes and gasped. The next thing I knew, I was asleep.

**Itatchi's POV:**

I was not about to let my girl...I mean THE girl to sleep with someone else. Oh no she was mine. I mean my hostage. I watched her sleep and smirked, covering her up.

"Itatchi..." she whispered. I felt my eyes widen and I leaned down to listen to her.

"Everyone loves magical Trevor the tricks that he does are ever so clever look at him now disappearing a cow where is the cow headed right now? Everyone loves magical Trevor everyone sees his trick is so clever look at his leathery, leathery whip." I stared at her confused as she continued singing. "Hey hey the cow is back hey hey the cow is back, back back, back from his magical journey...where did he go what did he see where did he go what did he see? He saw beans lots a beans lots a beans he saw beans lots a beans lots a beans..." she trailed off and began rolling around. I shook my head sadly and got up. Whatever happened to this girl that made her like she was? I felt terrible for her parents. I knew I'd never understand her, maybe that's what intrigued me about her. I shut the door to the room, wondering why my stomach was flipping around.

**The next day...**

'WAKE UP GIRL!" I twitched angrily. One day...ONE FRIGGIN DAY is all I ask for to sleep in peace!

'KISA!" someone grabbed my shoulder. I jumped on the person and began choking him.

"ONE FRIGGIN DAY!" I shouted angrily. I opened my eyes and stared at Kisame. He had tears in his eyes.

"Oh hey Kisame!" I said happily choking him some more.

"Kisame...what happened to you?" Itatchi asked staring at the bandaged, bruised up Kisame in front of him. I smiled in Kisame's direction, warning him not to say a word. He flinched and shook his head.

"N-n-nothing...um...can I not wake anyone up in the morning?" Kisame asked.

"Um...sure...why?"

"No reason just...um...I'd prefer to...LOOK A BEARFISH!" with that Kisame limped quickly from the room.

"Ok...Diedara YOU wake everyone up in the morning." Itatchi ordered. Diedara nodded. Sasori walked into the room hoping no one would notice the face he was wearing a dress.

SILENCE...

"W-w-what?"

SILENCE...

"COME ON! I WOKE UP IN IT I SWEAR!"

Everyone busted out laughing (except Kisame who was crying silently behind a rock and snuggling the panda).

"GET THE HELL OFFA ME!" the panda shouted.

"Look..." Sasori ripped the dress off.

I closed my eyes and screamed. "EEEEK! Ahh! DIEDARA!"

Diedara threw a frilly pink apron over Sasori.

"Much better...AH! You ripped kaka's dress...he's gonna be SOOO mad at you!" I said pointing an accusing finger at Sasori.

"Kaka? HIS dress? EH?"

**With Kakashi:**

"ACHOO! Hm...someone is talking about me...oh no!" Kakashi shivered. "A chill went down my spine that means...someone ripped my DRESS!" Kakashi shouted angrily, causing quiet a few stares.

"I"LL KILL WHOEVER DID IT YA HEAR ME!"kakashi shouted to the wind.

**Well...chapter 12 is here...hmm...its not that funny actually (stares at the story) oh well REVIEW MY LOVELIES!**


	13. AUTHOR ALERT!

**ATTENTION ALL YOU WONDERFUL REVIEWERS WHO PROBABLY HATE ME BY NOW.**

Okay I know I haven't been updating and for that I'm sorry (hides behind gaara) its not my fault I swear! My school is so annoying I hate it grrr...well anyway I wrote chapter 13 down in a notebook (something I don't normally do) and forgot it in my locker. So I'll update next weekend on this story. Once I write something good, I can never re-write the same thing just as good so I will not be able to update this weekend on this story. I have said this twice. Well sorry again but for being so awesome I shall award you a bearfish and a fruit person to do with as you please. Oh and oreos...LOTSA oreos. Thanx again :)


	14. Chapter 13

**Hey all you faithful reviewers out there! I know its been more than a week but it was exam week and I was studying like crazy. Sorry about chapter 12 I know it sucked but school has sucked out all of the insanity in me (yes, yes everyone gasp xp). Xp well hope you like this chapter better! Here ya go!**

**Disclaimer: DON'T EAT THE WOOFER!**

**Chapter 13: The potion o.o**

"Itatchi!" Kisame burst into the kitchen, face ashen and eyes wide.

"What is it?" Itatchi asked immediately alert.

"A-a-anbu! They're working their way here!"

"Let's go! Sasori watch the girl!" with that everyone disappeared.

I glanced at Sasori who sat silently in the corner.

"Um...what do you want to do?"

"Hn."

"It's almost six. I know! I'll make dinner!" I happily stood up and began rummaging through the cabinets.

**Back in Konoha:**

'Why weren't we allowed to join the anbu!" Shrece shouted angrily.

"Tsunade said that we'd probably get in the way. Besides we're not even sure if they'll find it." Shikamaru muttered.

"M-m-my dress!" Kakashi whimpered into his arms.

"Sensei pull yourself together!" Sakura yelled shaking Kakashi.

"What do you think she's doing right about now?" Naruto wondered aloud.

"They're probably making her cook them dinner." Kiba fumed angrily at the thought.

Suddenly Shrece busted out in maniacal laughter, causing everyone to stare at her shocked and back away a few feet.

"If that's true then we don't have to worry about capturing the Akatsuki!"

"What are you babbling about?" Sasuke asked.

"Her...cooking..." Shrece laughed some more. "Knowing her she'd probably end up burning down the base or poisoning the meat."

"So you're saying she can't cook." Gaara muttered.

"Not on her life." Shrece cackled.

**Back in Akatsuki:**

"Hmmm...Sasori have any idea what to stuff a turkey with?" I stared at the half frozen turnkey in front of me.

"Hn." Sasori replied, eyes closed.

"-sigh- Ooh I know!" I happily pulled out some oreos and pocky. I crushed them and stuffed them in the turkey.

"Have any sauce?" I asked. I looked at Sasori who had fallen asleep.

"Aww ...adorable." I said while opening the fridge and resisting the urge to doodle on his face.

I found a bottle of something that looked like cooking oil.

"Perfect!" I poured it over the turkey and then the rest of it in the cake batter. I placed the cake in the oven.

"No room for the turkey." I muttered to myself. I spotted a microwave and smiled happily.

I was never allowed to cook back home after I blew up our kitchen. How was I supposed to know that you weren't supposed to put a can of dog food in the toaster oven? Anyway I placed the turkey on a metal tray I found and put apples around it for decoration.

I then shoved it, more like forced it into the microwave.

"How long?" I stabbed the turkey with a fork to see how frozen it was. "Let's go with sixty nine minutes." I left the fork in because I assumed that id it sunk into the turkey it would show me it was finished. I turned the oven on and pressed start on the microwave.

I heard popping noises and looked around confused. Was that smoke? I sniffed the air and quickly spun around. Smoke was pouring out of the microwave and I could make out tiny sparks exploding inside.

"Ahhh!" Sasori woke at my scream.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!" he screamed opening the microwave with a jerk.

The fork that I had left in the now black turkey shot out and implanted itself in the wall. Sparks continued popping beneath the metal tray, causing the microwave to jump.

"Oh no!" I grabbed the tray and let out a scream, dropping everything onto the floor.

"Idiot! DON'T GRAB IT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS!" Sasori shouted grabbing the fire extinguisher and putting out the small fire in the microwave.

"Sasori?"

"What?"

"What's the turkey doing?" I asked pointing to the said object on the floor.

It seemed to be bubbling slightly.

"DUCK!" Sasori shouted diving behind the table that had somehow toppled over in the chaos.

"No it's turkey." Sasori grabbed me and pulled me down beside him.

**EXPLOSION!**

The kitchen was splattered with turkey bones, burnt pocky and oreos , not to mention the black meat.

"Uh oh." I muttered standing up.

"Itatchi is not going to like this." Sasori muttered.

As if on cue, Itatchi and the others burst into the kitchen, coughing from the smoke.

Everything fell silent as Itatchi stared around the room and looked at me and Sasori standing in the middle of it. His face grew red. A piece of black meat fell from the ceiling and splattered over his head. That was it.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" Itatchi fumed. The sprinklers on the ceiling finally sprung into action, soaking everything.

Itatchi glared at me.

I gave him a happy smile.

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

"So you managed to make the anbu turn back?" Sasori asked. Everyone sat on the damp seat cushions eating the cake that had miraculously survived. It even turned out right. I sat tied to a chair, burnt hands wrapped in bandages. I wasn't allowed any cake. I still don't think it's fair, I made dinner! Okay, yes, I did make it explode all over the kitchen but that doesn't really matter. Right?

"Yes they won't be back for a while." Diedara began coughing.

"Diedara you okay?" Kisame asked thumping Diedara on the back.

Diedara continued coughing until he coughed up a hairball. Everyone looked from Diedara to the hairball and back to Diedara.

Suddenly Itatchi grabbed his head in pain. I watched as to pointy black cat ears appeared on his head. Kisame grew whiskers and Sasori got a tail.

"What the hell! What did you put in that cake!" itatchi shouted at me.

"Eggs, milk, flour, some liquid stuff, sugar, vanilla flavo-"

"Whoa! Repeat that."

"That."

"NO! Repeat what you said about the liquid thing."

"I found a bottle of clearish liquid in the fridge and assumed it was cooking oil." I shrugged.

Itatchi raced to the fridge and tore through its contents.

"THAT WASN'T COOKING OIL! It was the rare transformation liquid!"

"Ooooh."

"It allows you to change into an animal, obviously this one was a cat, Seeing as how we did not drink the whole bottle, we didn't turn into a whole cat. It's supposed to last about two weeks but since it was separated I'd have to say about a week for us." Diedara informed us.

"OH MY GAWD!" pointing at the whiskered Kisame. "You're a catfish!" I laughed.

Kisame glared at me as Diedara and everyone stifled their laughter.

"Uh oh." I muttered. I would have run except the small detail that I was still tied to the chair.

"Kisame stood up. His yes holding malicious glee.

"Now, now Kisame don't be-" Diedara broke off as he stared at his hands. They were now covered in golden fur.

"Ha, ha you have cat paws!" Kisame howled rolling on the floor with laughter.

"It's not that funny." Diedara said through clenched teeth.

Everyone glared at me. I had managed to get the ropes undone.

"Erm...I bet when this is all over we'll look back on this and laugh." I said nervously. "Right?"

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

I ran through the words screaming with the Akatsuki close behind!

"No oreos for you EVER!": I heard someone threaten me. I ran faster. Suddenly I was grabbed and lifted in the air.

I stared at the face of a young boy with glasses on. His silver hair was tied back in a low ponytail.

"Hello love."

"FRUIT PERSON!" I shouted. The akatsuki who were searching for me below looked up.

"Let her go Kabuto! Orochimaru has nothing to do with her." Itatchi shouted ears twitching.

"Oh but he does. You see he needs an heir...and since that brother of yours wont do, he decided he needs to produce one. And the rumor of her power and her coming in a mysterious way just added to his liking." with that I was poofed away yet again by some unknown freak.

**Well here you go. I made it long so you forgive for not updating right? Pwease (bunny/puppy eyes) well REVIEW OKAY!**


	15. Chapter 14

Did you all miss me? I know you did don't lie. (hides behind Itachi) kidding kidding. Okay I know its been forever since I updated but before you kill me remember this. If I die then no one can continue insanity and manfreds…while you're thinking about that I'll be….(disappears) xp well here's chapter 14!!!! Thanx to all you reviewers out there! I luv ya! (not in that weird way xD) oh right this story is dedicated to Gaara's desert blossom/ I wanna be a princess. Flamers Welcome!

**Disclaimer: I ate a squirrel o.0**

**Kabuto's P.O.V: **

I sat outside with the girl that I had just kidnapped, waiting for Lord Orochimaru to return. I sighed tiredly as I watched the demonic child skip around torturing poor innocent crocodiles who she had claimed had eaten her woofer. What the hell a woofer was don't ask me, if you find out please e-mail me at thank you, I'd appreciate it. Anyway, I was sitting down and was thinking of going inside when someone poofed behind me. I turned toward the person, ready to fight if it was an oreo come to retrieve their master. Who was it but my love! Orochimaru himself in all of his beautiful, snake like glory.

"Kabuto." I let his voice caress my ears and closed my eyes. "Good job of bringing the girl." I shivered delightfully. I felt his hand on my cheek and became engulfed in desire.

"What are you doing?" My eyes snapped open and I stared at the girl who was in a bear costume, holding a sign saying 'Manfreds come. This is not a trap. Just please step into the hole. Thank you.'

I grew annoyed that she had interrupted my praise but laughed delightfully as Orochimaru glared at her and slapped her. She flew into a tree and lay there unconscious.

I felt Orochimaru's arms around me and breathed in his delicious smell.

"I only want you Kabuto." He whispered huskily in my ear. I collapsed in his arms, panting slightly as he began slipping off my shirt and feeling for…..

End Kabuto's P.O.V:

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kabuto snapped awake and stared me as I pointed to him, blushing furiously.

"What the hell?" he muttered rubbing his eyes.

"YOU PERVERT!" Kabuto shot me a confused stare. "YOU TALK IN YOUR SLEEP!" Kabuto looked confused then suddenly blushed furiously.

"Wait a minute how long was I out?" Kabuto and I had been playing a game of tag (well actually I running and he was chasing me) when he had knocked himself out by slapping himself in the head with a fish. Why'd he do it? Don't ask me. If you find out please e-mail me at thank you. Anyway I was still screaming and pointing at the boy, why? Well, I was just starting to enjoy myself. Besides I like watching his face turn that shade of magenta.

"HOW LONG WAS I OUT DAMMIT!" I gasped as he grabbed me and flung me against a tree.

"Ow! BASTARD! FRUIT PERSON! HOSEMONKEY! WAFFLE PANTS…" I stopped, suddenly craving pie flavored muffins.

"Answer me or I'll kill you." he growled.

"Hmm… I always wondered how death felt like."

Kabuto paused then thought about it.

"Fine then I'll….send you straight to hell."

"Okay. I'll send you a postcard." I smiled. Kabuto began twitching.

"I'LL EAT EVERY OREO ALIVE!" I gasped. No he did NOT just threaten to eat MY minions.

Glaring, I kicked him in his special place (ha like that sissy had one) and began screaming incoherently at him in pig Latin. Two things ran through my mind as I screamed at him:

I didn't even know I could speak Pig Latin.

Where the hell did that bear get a thong?

The next thing I knew I was shoved roughly in a sack and dragged along the ground.

900 bottles of hoes on the wall later: (A/N: No animals, and or hoes were harmed in the making of this chapter. And if you're a ho and find offense to any of this please note that I am not liable to be sued for I am one myself. Thank you)

"2 bottles of hoes on the wall two bottles of hoes. Take one down slap it around one bottle of ho on the wall. One bottle of ho on the wall one bottle of ho, take one down slap it around…NO BOTTLES OF HOES ON THE WAALLL!"

"ARE YOU FINFISHED YET?!" I heard Kabuto shout somewhere above.

"Hmm…no seeing as how you liked it so much. I'll start over just for you. 900 bottles of hoes on the wall…."

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE WORSE THAN THAT SASUKE BRAT!" I gasped angrily at the insult. That little….

"Ow!" I was thrown roughly to the ground and I heard voices above me. I just now really started to notice that sacks were pretty big, I could dance in here if I wanted to.

You know what? I think I will! I began trying to dance but soon realized that it was quite impossible. The voices above me stopped and someone opened the bag.

Somewhere over the rainbow… 

The oreo army was gathering troops from all over the world. Their oreo master had been kidnapped by the dreaded fruit people and they were prepared to go to the ends of the earth to retrieve her.

"General!" one of the medium sized oreos ran up to the biggest one. The biggest one stared down at him through his sunglasses, adjusting the army helmet on his head.

"What's the news solider?"

"No sign of the master, but we've received an anonymous tip that the Kool-Aid man had something to do with her disappearance."

"Well what are you standing around for? Get me my walkie talkie."

"Yes sir." The oreo ran off and returned with the walkie talkie.

"What's the deal?" the general said into the top part. The other end cackled a bit before he was answered.

"We got him sir. He's on his way to the base." The general nodded, hearing an "Oh Yeah." In the background.

"Good, has anyone checked where she was last seen?"

"We could only find where she had been seen before she was kidnapped sir, some place named Konoha."

"Alright we go there first. SOILDERS MOVE OUT! YOU! DROP THAT THONG! WHAT ARE YOU AN OREO OR A MAN?!"

"OREO SIR!"

"Then quit acting like a man, jeez you're putting us oreos to shame."

"SORRY SIR!"

Back with Kisa:

I stared at the freaky looking man in front of me. I was finding it hard to determine whether it was a man, woman, or some messed up anaconda.

"So you are to be the bearer of my children." I looked up at him then at the idiot Kabuto.

PAUSE

"WHAT?!" I shouted jumping up and startling everyone in the room. "NO! HE'S YOUR MAN WHORE MAKE HIM BEAR YOUR CHILDREN!" I shouted angrily pointing at the glassed freak.

"I AM NOT HIS MAN WHORE!"

"SHUT-UP! First of all, yes Kabuto you are my man whore and I cant get my man whore pregnant for he is a MAN!" Orochimaru hissed.

"Didn't stop Sean." I snorted.

The two stared at me.

"Sean is my mother. I came from the fruit of my mother's loins." I nodded. The ninja's in the room sputtered and one who had been sneaking a drink of sake spat it onto Kabuto's face.

"Look, you're nice and all….well except for you kidnapping me, you being a murderer, you being ugly, you…."

"I get it."

"Oh no wait I'm not finished…" I muttered pulling out a long scroll from my pocket.

"STOP! When did you make that list? You met me five minutes ago."

"Did I?" I asked with shifty eyes.

"Didn't you?"

"Maybe in another life I did but didn't and if I didn't then I did didn't I?"

"Yes. But if you didn't then you did and you didn't you did do the didn't did you?"

"Yes…wait…what?" I asked confused.

"Ugh I don't know anymore. Just go up to my room, get comfortable I'll be there in a second. Kabuto where are my handcuffs?"

"In my bed still I think." I gaped at the two men and slowly backed out of the room. Maybe I could get out of here without them noticing.

"Hey where are you…." I raced down the hall before he finished his sentence.

"Psst." I looked around confused. "Psst…" either there was a gas leak in here or someone was trying to get my attention. A small green dwarf gestured from behind the wall. I followed him to the other hallway. He looked around suspiciously then quickly pulled me into a corner.

"Look, I have three magic potions sent by your minions." He whispered.

"The oreos?" I whispered back.

"Yes they're on the move, they're searching for you."

"Great, you can tell them where I am!"

"No, sorry, I have to get back to my beach house but good luck with escaping and all." The dwarf shoved the bottles into my hand and disappeared.

"WAIT WHAT DO EACH OF THEM DO?!" I called staring at the small vials attached to a necklace.

"Over here, I heard voices." I quickly put the necklace on just as someone grabbed me from behind.

"OROCHIMARU WE HAVE HER!" the snake dude walked up to me and smirked evilly.

"Ha, I knew it. Bring her to my room."

"Yes sir."

I was poofed to a large purple room filled with strange objects (that I do not really feel like naming) on the wall.

Hmm…. I looked under the bed against my better judgement and pulled out three boxes. One was labeled pictures. I opened them and busted into laughter as I saw Sasuke in a dress. I pulled out the pictures and shoved it into my pocket. I loved blackmail. The other two had been labeled "confiscation". I looked around before opening it. I found, to my delight….CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS! Sure it was July…I think…but hey no one cares, lights are shiny and everyone loves the shiny. Or else. Anyway I pulled out tinsel and lights and draped them around the room. Won't snake freak be surprised?

30 minutes later:

I looked around at my masterpiece and happily applauded myself. You know those people that look like they bought out the whole store and threw it around in their yard? Imagine that except three times worse and five times more lights. There was a poof and I looked behind me. The snake dude stood, mouth open and staring around the room.

"YOU DESTROYED MY BEAUTIFUL BEDROOM!" he shouted angrily.

"No I improved it…besides you haven't even seen the best part yet." I happily gathered the plugs and shoved them into the outlet. There was a blast of light and a scream. I stared at the blinding shininess and clapped happily. I looked over to see if Orochimaru was enjoying it and found him rolling on the floor whimpering and covering his eyes.

"Hey…what's wrong? Don't you like the lights?" I poked him in his head and he whimpered some more. I shook my head and looked up as the door burst open. The rest of the sound village had gathered in. They all shielded their eyes. In the chaotic yet awesome moment, I realized this was my chance to escape. I stole the headband off of Orochimaru because it was awesome then quickly jumped out the window. I ran through the forest until I toppled over someone.

"OW!"

"ugh." I looked at who I had run into and squealed happily. I hugged the black haired boy before me.

"HAKU!"

"K-K-Kisa?" he muttered.

"How are you? did you find that bearfish I told you about?"

"Um…no I was just looking for you. Everyone is in an uproar over your disappearance." I nodded sadly and stood up.

"Yes, my poor minions have been searching for me."

"E-excuse me?"

"Minions, oreo people. They've been looking for me and I haven't been in touch. I need to get them a message."

Just then I heard a bell ring and saw the spandex wearing boy, Lee, or something, pull up on a bike beside me.

"I CAN DELIVER THE MESSAGE! I WILL NOT FAIL!" he did a good guy pose. The older version, Gai, appeared bedside him, tears rolling down his face.

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT LEE!" both hopped on the bike and drove away, Lee shouting he would not fail and Gai encouraging him.

"Um…HEY YOU FORGOT THE LETTER! Oh never mind. Haku, let's go back to Konoha." Haku nodded and noticed the sound headband I was wearing.

"Where'd you get that?"

"I stole it." I smirked evilly.

Back with Orochimaru:

"SHE STOLE MY HEADBAND!" Orochimaru shouted angrily with bandages over his eyes. The team was trying to turn off the lights while Kabuto consoled their master.

"Ahhh!" the lights began sparking.

"DUCK!" a duck flew through the room then disappeared.

"LOOK OUT!" the light bulbs shot off and hit Kabuto in the head, Orochimaru began blindly searching for a way out and tinsel began shooting past his head.

"FIRE!" everyone began scrambling out of the room. Orochimaru shook his fist.

"I'LL GET YOU! AND YOU WILL HAVE MY CHILDREN AND I WILL RULE THIS EARTH!" he broke off as his hair caught on fire.

"AHHHHH!"

**Back with Itachi:**

"That settles it, we have to go to Konoha for help." Itachi said standing up. Everyone looked at him shocked.

"And get killed? No thanks." Itachi's sharigan swirled. Everyone grew quiet.

"I'll go get the pocky and oreos." The panda muttered standing up.

"For what?"

"Peace offering of course." Everyone shrugged as the panda disappeared.

"I hate this stupid tail!" Sasori shouted angrily pushing it out of his face.

"Stop complaining. At least you don't have fleas." Diedara muttered scratching himself.

"You stop complaining, you can bathe. I haven't been able to in weeks." Kisame grumbled. Everyone stared at him.

"What?"

"No one said you couldn't take a shower. Besides…we've been like this for a day, what do you mean for weeks?" Kisame stared at the others at a lost for words. Everyone backed away from him.

"O…k…" Itachi said a bit creeped out.

**Back in Konoha:**

"We have to find her! Our wedding's tomorrow!" Shrece said angrily punching a passing fish that flew into the lake and drowned. Gaara sighed and nodded. The group had gathered together to discuss a rescue plan.

"We still don't know where she is." Shikamaru muttered.

"That has nothing to do with this!" Shrece shouted angrily.

"That has EVERYTHING to do with this! Ugh…never mind, this is tiresome." Shrece turned to Shikamaru, a dark aura surrounding her.

"THIS IS NOT TIRESOME!" everyone sweat dropped as she began choking Sasuke….again.

"Look, all we have to do is find her minions and ask them, I'm pretty sure they have a lead." Everyone stared at Naruto. "What? I thought it was a good idea."

"Naruto…shut up." Kiba sighed.

"HEY!" Naruto leapt at Kiba but missed and landed head first onto the cement.

"Naruto….a-are you okay?" Hinata rushed to his side. Naruto sat up, rubbing his head.

Suddenly he got a far away look in his eyes and fainted.

Everyone rushed to him.

"Great the idiot killed himself." Shikamaru muttered.

"W-what?" Hinata said becoming stressed.

"Good." Neji muttered. He had been dragged into the meeting by Hinata who had threatened to tell the head family about his little…erm…_hobby_. One of the first times she actually stood up to him.

"I KNOW WHERE KISA IS!" Naruto shouted jumping up and startling everyone.

"YOU DO?! HOW?! WHERE?!" Shrece shouted happily.

Naruto's stomach rumbled. "Can we get some ramen first?" Shrece gave him a look but knew he wouldn't tell unless Naruto had ramen, and if she killed him she would never know.

**50 bowls of ramen and 10 empty wallets later:**

"So where is she?" Shrece asked impatiently as Naruto gave off a loud burp.

Hinata pulled out a jar and caught the air, closing the lid quickly.

Everyone looked at her and she blushed.

"I-I was just…"

"I FAILED!" everyone turned toward a sobbing lee who had burst into Ichiraku, Gai by his side trying to console him. Both were covered in dirt, cuts and bruises could be seen on their face.

Hinata took the moment to cut off a bit of Naruto's hair.

"It is okay lee! YOUTH SHALL PREVAIL! I'M SURE THE LOVELY DEMON WON'T BE ANGRY!"

everyone ignored them as usual, as they began their dramatic hugging scene.

"So Naruto where is she?"

"She's in the forest walking with some guy." Naruto announced.

"And how do you know that?" Shikamaru asked.

"I don't know I just had a vision when I fainted." Naruto shrugged. Suddenly he fainted again.

""Naruto!" Hinata wailed. Naruto popped up again.

"She's on her way here!" he announced.

PAUSE…..

"Are you telling me you received psychic abilities by idiotically ramming your head on the sidewalk?" Shino asked.

Everyone stared at Shino, that being the longest sentence that actually made sense come from his mouth.

"Shino?" Ino asked uncertainly.

"I am the bug master." He muttered darkly, a bug crawling from beneath his glasses and up his nose.

"Eeeww…." Sakura muttered.

"Anyone want some fried ants? They're delicious." Choji said stuffing his face. Shino's eyes…err…glasses flashed dangerously.

"YOU! STOP EATING MY PETS! You're just like that monkey! (from earlier chapters)."

"I'm hungry…and what monkey?" a monkey, the one which just happened to have eaten Shino's pet, George, jumped on Choji's shoulder.

"You are working together!" Shino cried accusingly.

"I am a great psychic!" Naruto shouted, dressed in a orange bathrobe with blue moons and stars on it. He held a book in his hand, a crystal ball in the other, and he wore a pointy orange hat upon his head.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Shrece shouted. "We're going to find Kisa. Let's go tell Tsunade we have a lead."

Everyone nodded and disappeared to her office.

"Tsunade!" Shrece shouted as she and everyone else appeared in the room.

Tsunade stopped her conversation with….

"ITACHI!" Sasuke shouted angrily. "REVENGE!  
"Not now Sasuke!" both Itachi and Shrece shouted, punching him into the wall.

The man fixing the last hole Sasuke had made screamed angrily and threw the nails he was holding to the ground and his hammer at Sasuke's head.

"I JUST FIXED THAT YOU MORON!"

"What's Itachi doing here?" Shikamaru asked Kakashi who was also in the room.

"He comes in peace, he brought pocky and oreos see?" Kakashi pointed to the basket which was being held by a panda.

"O…k….but it doesn't answer the question." Shikamaru said angrily.

"Oh right, he came to ask us to help him find Kisa."

"And why should we help him?" Naruto shouted.

"Because if we don't he'll kill us." Tsunade said happily eating the pocky.

"AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?!" Sasuke shouted angrily standing up.

Suddenly Shrece started laughing.

"Ha, ha! It's a catfish!" she shouted pointing at Kisame who glared. Gaara glared back.

"What happened to you guys?" Sakura asked.

"Kisa cooked for us." Diedara said.

Everyone fell into laughter. The Akatsuki just glared.

"Okay, now you said Orochimaru had her?" Tsunade asked.

"NO SHE HAS ESCAPED! I KNOW THIS FOR I AM NARUTO UZAMAKI! FUTURE HOKAGE AND FUTURE SEEING PERSON PSYCHIC GUY!" everyone sweat dropped. Suddenly there was a poof and everyone looked around. Haku appeared followed by….

**Kisa's P.O.V:**

I poofed into Tsunade's office beside Haku expecting a grand and glorious entrance. I did not expect to be glomped by a mob of people.

"KISA!" I was bombarded with questions that I could not answer for I couldn't breathe and was being crushed beneath the weight. I crawled out and stared at the group of people on the floor, squirming around. All but one. I stared at Gaara who shook his head at the scene in front of him.

"Gaara!" I shouted happily. I hugged him and he stiffened.

"Oh stop it, you'll be my brother somewhat soon so stop complaining."

Gaara muttered something that I chose to ignore. Kaka finally pulled himself away from the still struggling group and walked over to me. He hugged me and twirled me around.

He set me down and looked me square in the eye.

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PUT MY BOOKS! AND MY DRESS…WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY DRESS?!" I fell over in shock and everyone stopped struggling and looked over at us.

"Wait if Kisa's over there who am I kissing?" Kiba looked down at the pissed of Neji his arms. "AAAHH!"

"Wait what about me?" Naruto also looked down and Sasuke who seemed to be actually enjoying it. "AAAHHHH!!!!"

Hinata glared at Sasuke.

**Hinata's thoughts:**

That bastard! That's the second kiss he's stolen from my Naruto. Oh just wait, I'm going to find him in a dark ally one day and……mwuah ha ha ha

**Kisa's P.O.V:**

I and everyone else looked over at Hinata as she was overcome with maniacal laughter.

"Okay then…" everyone jumped up and the boys acted as if nothing happened. Of course, unknown to them, I had taken pictures.

"THE WEDDING IS TOMORROW!" I shouted horrified.

"THAT'S RIGHT WE HAVE TO GET READY!" Shrece grabbed me and we disappeared leaving a very confused group behind.

"WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ABOUT OUR CONDITION!" Kisame shouted angrily.

"WHAT ABOUT MY BOOKS AND DRESS?" Kakashi shouted.

"WHAT ABOUT MY DOLLIES!" Sasuke shouted. Everyone stared at him.

"I-I mean….my weapons…yeah…."

**Phew…eight pages, you can forgive me now right? Sorry, the word on my computer was deleted so I couldn't update and my school's computer was being stupid. Grr…. Well anyway read, review please! FLAMERS WELCOME! Oh right, the story is almost over…about one or two more chapters I believe :)**


	16. Chapter 15

**Okay guys I am terribly sorry for the long update, but my computer has completely shut down on me (that whore) and in the process I have received a CO AUTHOR! The moonlitfire! Because she is awesome by creating a Gaara pillow for me SQUEE GO MOONLITFIRE MY LUFF!! This story is dedicated to gaara'sdesertblossom (an awesome writer)! Well here's the last chapter enjoy! There will be a sequel but it will be mentioned later you'll see it when you read hos LURVE YOU!**

**Disclaimer: I am being forced by lawyers to tell you I do not own Naruto but I own this story! **

**Chapter something or another**

"DUN DUN DUH DUH DUN DUN DUH DUH HERE COMES THE BRIDE FAIR FAT AND WIDE! HERE COMES THE GROOM AS SKINNY AS A BROOM! HERE COMES THE USHER THE OLD TOILET FLUSHER!!!!!" I continued singing the song over and over and over and over and over and over again. The bridesmaids surrounding me gave me cold stares as I stood in my black and red dress dancing on top of the tables. The dress had been originally pink before but there was an accident that I had nothing to do with I swear…no really….don't doubt me….it wasn't me…I promise…SERIOUSLY! IT WAS KISAME!!!! Anyway…it was to be my bestest friend's wedding today and I was all hocked up on sugar and caffeine. (wonderful creations that they were).Anyways, Shrece was changing into her beautimous gown, and I was making sure that none of her fanboys tried to peak in on her. Of course, Gaara may have helped in that department. Then again, I also had to keep him away as well. It is bad luck for a groom to see a bride before the ceremony on her wedding day, that it is. I find that he is particularly prone to threats of no more tater tots. Who would have known?

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The ceremony had begun and I was standing barefooted on the altar holding the bouquet of flowers. I had lost my shoes earlier throwing them at a random man who wouldn't go down in front during my favorite soap opera, " Big Brother don't kill me, kill the clan" starring Jhonny Depp as Itachi and Michael Jackson as Sasuke. The preacher was a butt ugly, old man with so many wrinkles you could hardly see his face. He spoke slowly too and I was getting a bit impatient.

3 hours later.

I was furiously twitching by now.

"Do……….yoo…..u……..Saba……….kuuuuuuuu…….nooooooooooooo…………..Gaaaaarr……rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaa………take…….." I looked around at everyone in the chairs. They were snoring softly and a few looked like they had stopped breathing. I looked to Shrece and stifled a squeak as I saw her head resting on Gaara's shoulder, a bit of drool on her mouth. Gaara's eyes seemed glazed as if he had spaced out. With a cry of defiance I leapt at the preacher knocking him to the ground and wrestling the airplane pamphlets he was reading off of from his hands and jumped back on the altar. My shout had awoken everyone and Shrece was looking around confused.

"Do you Sabaku no Gaara take Shrece to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, to cherish and to treasure until death do you part? Of course you do, now do you Shrece take Sabaku no Gaara to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold, to cherish and to treasure until death do you part? We all know you do. Any objection?" I asked pulling out a stiletto and brandishing it threateningly. Everyone stood wide eyed shaking their heads slowly. "No? Good. You may now kiss the bride!" There was a pause. After the half hour make out session they called a single kiss, we worked our way past the rabid geese that followed us everywhere, to the reception area.

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"OKAY EVERYONE! GATHER AROUND TIME TO CUT THE CAKE!" Shrece shouted happily. Everyone gathered and just as Gaara and Shrece cut into the cake there was a scream and Michael Jackson popped out of it, holding his plastic nose (with a cut from the knife in it). There was a moment of silence and an African swallow carrying a coconut zipped by followed closely by a flying baboon. Letting off a smile Michael jumped from the cake and did the moon walk, saying the famous line from the soap, "OW! Big brother ooh ooh, don't kill me, kill the clan. FREE WILLY!"

There was a loud cheer and the ceremony continued on its way. (Unknown to many, Gaara later found Michael trying to molest a little boy with the live panda that belonged to Diedara. Without hesitation, Gaara then used sand coffin, and crushed the rest of Michael's plastic self, sadly the next season of my soap opera was cancelled until they found a replacement. Their first subject would have been Orochimaru, if he hadn't gone blind during the Christmas accident (though it happened in the middle of July….or was it August?) so they got some freak named Voldemort who had a thing for boys with visible scars, happily the second season is now being recorded). I was watching Shrece dance in front of Gaara who was glaring at all the fanboys who were drooling over Shrece's spanking move. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the whiskered Kisame crying softly, his back turned toward the crowd as he sat in a dark corner eating something. I walked over and looked at him downing his twelfth can of tuna.

"I-I can't stop eating the fish….my poor brethren…I'm sorry I betrayed you!" he cried gobbling down some more tuna. Itachi walked up beside me and Diedara appeared in front of me.

"Looks like Kisame got a cat's stomach too." Diedara sad pitifully as he scratched little fleas from his paws. Itachi glared at me for a second before sighing.

"Would you…" he broke off blushing, the cat ears twitching nervously on his head.

"Yes?" I asked with a gleam in my eye.

"Would you…?"

"TEACH YOU HOW TO BREAKDANCE?!" I grabbed Itachi and led him to the dance floor and dropped on the ground and began spazzing out.

Itachi looked around awkwardly before shrugging and also spazzing on the floor. Soon everyone was doing it and I saw Kisame flopping like a fish out of water (which he was) in the corner while still eating tuna. Suddenly there was earth shattering roar and the ground began quaking. Out of the ground sprouted a blue castle. I stared wide eyed at it and me and Shrece squealed with delight as we raced to our homeland….well technically it wasn't OUR homeland but hey you don't need to know that.

"YO! KISAME'S MOM!!! YOUR SON'S BEEN SKIPPING HIS TIME OUT!! I THINK HE NEEDS A BIT OF A SPANKING!!! OH YEAH!!! HE'S ALSO BEEN EATING A LOT OF TUNA RECENTLY!!! YOU MAY WANT TO SIT HIM DOWN AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT WHY CANNABILISM IS ILLEGAL!!!!!!!! ( although I myself do not know)." I screamed holding out a whip I had stolen from Kaka earlier on that day. It was to be Shrece's wedding gift for I knew she liked it like that…. I meant dog training mind out of gutter. (Co-author: uhhuh…sure you meant it like that…. (rolls eyes)). Suddenly a big blue fish lady appeared out of nowhere and glared at me.

"My son knows better than to skip time out…and he is no cannibal." At this everyone looked over at Kisame to see him eating himself for they had ran out of tuna.

"KISAME!!!" the woman, obviously known to be Kisame's mother (for he had her bone structure), screamed grabbing the whip and starting to twitch. Kisame looked up from the corner and turned pale blue at the sight of his mother coming towards him. He immediately began to try and eat the rest of himself.

"Don't eat yourself young man remember what happened last time!" Suddenly she whipped out a camera and began rolling film. We all gathered to see Kisame as a boy, approximately five to seven, eating a certain body part that should have caused him much pain. Diedara glanced over and nodded knowingly.

"That explains it." He muttered to himself as he remembered a certain night home alone with Kisame.

Suddenly there was another earth shattering roar and a bearfish, the size of the castle appeared and ate Orochimaru and Kabuto who had been lurking in the bushes, doing things that cannot be mentioned in a T rated story.

Someone suddenly screamed chair and a chair flew through a window followed closely by a duck who stole my paper explaining the velocity of its travel southward.

"NOOOOO!" I screamed chasing after it. Suddenly Oreos fell from the neon sky and pocky shattered the earth's core, tumbling everyone to their doom.

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I woke with a start and looked around.

"Are there any…….objections?" The priest asked. Realizing it was a very good dream, I screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" There was a pause and I looked around to see everyone staring at me.

"Kisa?" Shrece asked uncertainly.

"Oh….um…I meant…NOOOOO objection! Yeah….that's right……NOW READ THE AIRPLANE PAMPHLET YOU OLD MAN!" the priest looked shocked before shrugging and pulling out the pamphlet.

"She's right." He sighed. During the cake cutting scene ( which contained no Michael Jackson sadly), there was a sudden shout and the ground began shaking. Oreo soldiers, marched through the wedding and held Kabuto and Orochimaru at gunpoint.

"MASTER!" the main Oreo shouted running up to me and embracing me.

"MINIONS YOU MADE IT!" I shouted happily as I ate his head off. My minions cheered at the sight of their comrade's honorable demise. Soon the party was in full swing and during the ceremony, I spotted something shiny on the ground. A key? I reached down and picked it up. MY HOUSE KEY! Suddenly I felt something zoom past me and saw the squirrel, holding my woofer in its mouth. My eyes grew wide and I screamed causing quite a few stares. I began running past the elfin village and smeagle who was holding a ring protectively while talking to his alternate personality and molesting Frodo and Sam as they made out on top of the twins. The squirrel paused, mocking me before jumping down a well. I followed without hesitation.

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I sat up groggily wondering where the hell I was. I heard voices and a girl screaming something that sounded a lot like Inufasha? Inubaka? Inuyasha? Pie? The last thing I remember was chasing a dumb squirrel who stole my….I gasped.

"WHERE:S MY WOOFER?!"

The sequel will be posted soon….maybe…it is under INUYASHA ! The title is called "Where's my Woofer?!" HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE! Once again I thank all you reviewers out there, and I apologize for it being so late. To those I couldn't reply to, I want to give you an oreo and a hug with a get well card. :) BYE NOW! THANX AGAIN! THIS STORY HAS OFFICIALLY…………….wait for it…………ENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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